But he gets up before I can utter a word, fetching us both a shot of whiskey from the kitchen. “Here, to ease the ache, right?”
The warm burn slides down my throat, but the ache remains. So much for that theory.
He perches on the edge of the couch and slides one arm beneath my thighs and the other around my back. “As I was saying, I can’t change the past or what happened earlier. But I can carry you into that bedroom, make love to you, and for a little while, the only thing in the world that exists will be you and me. What do you say?”
My hands rest on his shoulders, my fingers aimlessly threading through his hair. “The world will still be out there tomorrow.”
He stands with me secure in his arms. “Then let them wait. Because right now, I’ve got all I need.”
Eddie settles me on the mattress, his hands gently stripping the clothes from my body, his mouth delivering soft kisses along my neck and shoulders as he holds me, desperate to erase the pain.
If my emotional wounds left physical scars, I’d resemble a punching bag after twelve rounds with a heavyweight champion, but my scars live in my psyche, fragmenting my life into moments of joy and moments of despair.
The latter far outweighs the joy most days.
But in this moment, these few fleeting hours before the sun rises on an uncertain day, I let the joy take hold.
I drift my hands over him, his solid form my only comfort in recent months, and press a soft kiss over his heart. “I don’t want to lose this,” I murmur.
“Hey.” He tips my chin up, his honey brown gaze clinging to mine. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I want him to vow that he’ll never leave, but we both know promises are foolish in my world.
He might have to walk away and I need to be okay with that. Even though he claims to love me, how long will that last when this is what loving me looks like?
So I take the only certainty I have, and that’s tonight.
Eddie, always mindful of the things Idon’tsay, nuzzles his stubbled jaw against my neck, his mouth hot against my skin. “Stay with me, beautiful.”
He lowers me to the mattress, following me down, caging me between his strong body and the bed. I drift my fingers overhis face, memorizing every feature. Every expression. Locking how he looks at me into my most precious memory bank.
No one kisses like Eddie. He has a kiss for every mood, but tonight is different. He slows us down, as if he’s trying to freeze time, too.
His tongue glides against mine, whispering promises he might not keep, his arms tight around me, and I fall into him.
Just like I have since the beginning.
He’s so gentle, as if I might shatter in his hands. To be honest, I might if he lets go.
When he slides inside me, his rhythm is slow and even, coaxing out the pleasure I’m afraid to feel.
“Let go, beautiful,” he murmurs, dipping his voice to my ear.
Tears prick my lids but I blink them away. “I don’t want this to end.”
A slow smile crosses his lips. “Then I’ll take all night.”
I know in that moment I want to stay here forever. I only pray I can.
Afterward, I lie draped over him, the warmth of his body the only security my heart has ever known. I trace idle patterns through the hair peppering his chest as he stares at the ceiling, a funny smile on his face.
Should I ask him?
God knows I want to. More importantly, I want to tell him howIfeel. He claims loving me scares the hell out of him? Trust me, mister, you’re not alone there.
I’m terrified.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asks, shooting me a smirk and side eye.
