Despite everything, a laugh breaks free from my lips. “I’m in love with you… you silly man.”
Talk about an unexpected admission.
“What?”
“I think I fell in love with you somewhere between the bouquet of wildflowers on my birthday and pancakes the next morning.”
His eyes grow large, as dazed exasperation flutters across his features. “Then why would you tell me I meant nothing? Why hurt me like that? I get that you’re dealing with Drake’s bullshit, but I would have shielded you from it. You know that.”
This is the hard part. Do I back off, fumble my way through an excuse and blame Drake for the entirety of our breakup? In a way, the onus falls on my estranged husband, but he’s not thewholereason.
Do I keep Pandora’s box open or slam her shut?
“Kiki,” Eddie warns, “no more lies.”
Fine. Time to blow it all up and let the pieces fall where they may.
“This is going to change everything,” I murmur.
“Things need to change, because the last couple of months have been hell.”
That’s an understatement.
I step back, wringing my hands as I prepare to turn hisworld upside down. “I broke up with you because Deirdre was going to take you to court and fight for full custody of Theo.”
Poor Eddie. I watch the disclosure hit him in real time, watch the barrage of emotions battle each other for the upper hand.
Turns out, anger wins.
His lips settle into a hard line. “What the hell do you mean my ex was going to take me to court? How would you know this information? You two aren’t friends.”
I bark out a mirthless laugh. “Not hardly. Her lawyer, Mr. Howard, is an old family friend. He came to speak with me, asked that I bow out gracefully so as to avoid a lengthy and painful custody battle. At first, I refused, but then I realized he was right. This would hurt you and Theo and I couldn’t allow that.”
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Eddie roars at the ceiling, shaking his fists in the air. “Deirdre and I are going to have a nice, long talk about her bullshit. She wants a war? I’ll give her one.”
“No, stop it.” I rush forward, clutching his hands. “Don’t be mad at Deirdre. She didn’t handle it properly but she only did it because she loves Theo so much.”
Eddie’s eyes widen as I defend his ex. “Are you kidding? She fucked with my life. That woman knows I’m a terrific father.”
I rest my hand on his chest, his heart racing beneath my palm. “This wasn’t about you. It was about protecting the most important thing in her world. What if the roles were reversed? If Deirdre were dating someone tied to a group accused of sex trafficking, wouldn’t you demand she keep Theo away?”
Eddie goes still, his face tight with rage. “It’s not the same thing.”
“But it is, and deep down, you know that. Look, I’m glad Iput that distance between us, because I would never forgive myself if something happened to Theo.”
Eddie breaks free, wearing holes into the floorboards with his pacing. “Explain the party then. Why did you suddenly pull away after we—” He smacks his forehead. “Oh my God, her uncle was there.”
“Mr. Howard, her attorney, was there, too. When you mentioned that Deirdre’s uncle was also in attendance, I realized I had no choice but to walk away.”
“Look,” I refill Eddie’s whiskey and walk it over to him, “I planned on speaking to you that night. Not disclosing everything, but enough so you might know I was always fully invested in us. I never intended to make a move, but when you kissed me back, I couldn’t stop myself.”
“I thought I kissed you.” His voice is still tight, his jaw rigid, but I see the tiniest flash of humor in his eyes, even though I know this fight is far from over.
“I was absolutely the instigator and it was worth every glorious second.” I sink onto the futon, exhaustion sinking into my bones. “But then you mentioned how her uncle was there, and I saw everything you’ve worked for falling apart because of me. I didn’t want to ruin your life anymore than I already had.”
Eddie crosses the room and drops down beside me, taking my hands in his. “You didn’t ruin anything.”
“But I almost did. I’m toxic to everything I love.” The harder I try to refrain from crying, the more determined the tears become. “I’m so sorry for everything. You are, quite honestly, the best thing that’s ever happened to me. All I wanted was a chance to love you.”
