“Nolan? No, that’s not it?—”
But Eddie is done listening. His nostrils flare as he releases me, shoving back a few steps. “Damn, I missed that one, but it makes sense. After all, he’s got the big house, the deep pockets and all those fancy Hollywood connections. Let me ask you though, is he just filling a void, too, or is he actually worthwhile enough for you to stick around?”
Tears fill my eyes, my mind struggling to find any plausible explanation that doesn’t involve telling him the truth about Deirdre.
Oh, I’m not trying to protect her, but destroying their fragile coparenting setup will only hurt Theo, and that I won’t do.
I’ve hurt enough people.
Eddie paces in small circles, agitation wafting off him like smoke. He grinds to a halt, thrusting a finger toward me. “Stop crying, Kiki. It won’t work on me anymore. What is it about me that you despise so damn much?”
The tears spill down my cheeks, my vision blurring the raw edges of the heartache playing out in real time. “I have never hated you. You mean everything to me. I lo?—”
“Bullshit,” he barks, cutting me off before I can utter those fateful words. “I’m someone to pass the time, fill the void, remember? Your words, Kiki. You know what isn’t fair? I have loved you since practically the first day we met.” He shakes his head, his breathing jagged as a serrated blade. “I would have given you everything.Everything. But you didn’t want it. Didn’t want me.”
How many times did I dream of hearing those words from him? How many nights did I imagine a future that reality wouldn’t allow us to have?
The wall surrounding my heart breaks, and I collapse against the desk, sobbing. “Please, Eddie, you don’t understand.”
“Actually, I finally do. Don’t worry, Kiki, I don’t want to be your fucking friend, either. Guess that means we’re nothing. Do me a favor. We might have to work together, but beyond that? Stay away from me.”
I want to chase after Eddie. I want to dash right through the middle of Nolan’s fucking party, grab the man I love, tell him everything, and let the pieces fall where they may.
But I doubt Eddie would believe anything I say anymore. Why would he? In his eyes, I’m on a mission to rip him apart at the seams.
Instead, I track his retreating figure as he storms out the door and back through the party, hell-bent on putting as much distance between us as possible.
When did life become so damn complicated?
When you’re young, adults tell you that you’ll meet someone, fall in love and be happy. They fail to mention all the other shit that leaves you in a permanent state of purgatory.
But I don’t regret the few fateful moments where I belonged to him again.
In another life, it would be designated as the single hottest moment of my sexual career. Instead, it’s now a regrettable event Eddie wishes hadn’t happened.
My God, his face. The anger. The disbelief that I was actually breaking us again. There’s no coming back from this. Not this time.
Better get out there before anyone asks questions. That’s all Eddie needs is rumors churning about him and the pariah of Sparkwood.
I spend the next few minutes straightening my dress, blotting my eyes, and fixing my makeup until there’s no visible trace of the damage.
When I finally rejoin the party, Eddie is gone.
So I plaster on a smile and make my rounds, an excuse forhis abrupt disappearance locked and loaded in my arsenal. Of course, Nolan and Romy both ask, concern creasing their faces.
I tell them Theo wasn’t feeling well. I hate using the little boy as a shield, but it’s something no one questions. It’s believable, and more importantly, it covers Eddie from prying inquiries.
Then I linger for the next hour, but I can’t focus on anything. Not the conversations, not the music, not the laughter.
My mind remains locked on Eddie.
The last time we ended things, there was pain simmering in his eyes. Raw and unfiltered. But this time… there was nothing but flat, unyielding disgust. Like I’d sucked the last bit of life from the ghost of our relationship, leaving nothing behind but a tattered corpse.
I have to leave. I can’t do this anymore. The air is stifling and the walls threaten to cave in, crushing us all.
Life is not a fucking party, Mr. Montague. In fact, it’s anything but fun these days.
After a few more minutes of forced conversation, I pass along my thanks, say goodbye to the few people willing to meet my gaze, and head toward the exit.
