I pick at the nail polish on my thumb, one of my many newly adopted nervous tics. “It’s that obvious?”
“Yes. On both sides.”
“But…”
Nolan rolls his eyes. The man has no use for my waffling. “Both sides.”
The truth rolls over me like a locomotive, demolishing any further arguments.
Eddie still loves me.
Trust me, I prayed he did. Believed that love, if it was the genuine article, didn’t up and vanish like an extinguished candle. But the last few months have been trying, to say the least, and Eddie has walls a mile high around his heart now.
Hello, dummy, the walls exist because of you.
“I need to go.” I shrug off Nolan’s coat, returning it to him with a hasty thanks.
Nolan waves me off. “Far be it from me to stand in the path of true love.”
My eyes scan the living room crowd as I make my way through the sea of suits and party dresses, my heart beating faster with every step.
Decision time, and it’s a big one. I’m going to tell Eddie everything, the whole ugly, sticky truth. Because I can’t do this anymore. I love him. He loves me. Thathasto count for something. Screw all the people who think it’s wrong, because it isn’t. It’s beautiful.
And I am so damn tired of missing him.
But then I spot Mr. Howard across the room, engaged in conversation with an elderly gentleman near the newly installed arched window, and my momentary high crashes to the ground as I recall our conversation not fifteen minutes ago.
Easy, Kiki. Let’s remember why you broke up with Eddie in the first place. It had nothing to do with a lack of love. It was the only way to keep him safe.
Reality, you are such a bitch.
Fine, I can’t tell himeverything. I can’t mention Deirdreand her custody threat, because there’s no way, at least right now, that it won’t blow up in both of our faces.
But I can tell Eddie about Drake. About the upcoming trial. Explain enough so that he might understand the choices I made weren’t about what I wanted, but what I knew was necessary.
So maybe, just maybe, we can bumble through the next few months before finding our way back to one another.
Most importantly, I can take down my walls first. Let him see the woman he fell in love with and remind him she’s still here. And still waiting.
Come on, universe. For once, be on my side.
It’s then I spot Eddie standing alone at the bar, his back to the crowd, his hand wrapped around a whiskey glass.
I suck in a breath, steadying my resolve.
Let’s do this.
Chapter 25
I Don't Want To Be Your Friend
Eddie
Even with my back to the crowd, I feel the eyes on me. Some shoot me admiring glances, no doubt wondering who I am—and more importantly, who I’m with—while others peer down their noses at me, no doubt wondering how the fuck I scored an invitation to a shindig like this.
Trust me, folks, I’d rather be anywhere but here.
And I do mean anywhere.
