She let him kiss her.
The thought circled like a vulture. I tried to drown it. Took another pull. Another.
She didn't kiss him back.
That voice was quieter. Softer. The part of me that wanted to believe she'd stood there frozen because she didn't want him, not because she did.
But it didn't matter what she wanted. The cameras saw what they saw. Nate's hands on her waist. His mouth on hers. His claim, public and permanent, while I stood on the ice with a whistle around my neck and rage burning holes through my ribs.
I closed my eyes. Saw her name instead.
DONOVAN
Written in faded sharpie on the whiteboard in my office. Top line. Center. The best player I had. The one I pushed hardest because she could take it. Because shedeservedit.
Because I wanted her to be everything I never was.
The whiskey sloshedwhen I sat up too fast. My head swam. I blinked hard, tried to focus, but the room kept tilting.
My phone sat on the coffee table. Screen dark. Silent.
I reached for it before I could think better.
Scrolled through my contacts with clumsy thumbs. Found her name—Donovan, B.—buried between a dozen other players I never texted, never called, never thought about past practice.
She was different.
She'd always been different.
I stared at her name until it blurred. Typed a message. Deleted it. Typed another.
Why'd you let him touch you?
Deleted.
You're better than that.
Deleted.
I hit the call button before I could stop myself.
It rang three times. Long enough for regret to sink in. Long enough for me to consider hanging up, throwing the phone, drowning the rest of the bottle.
"Hello?" Her voice was quiet. Careful. Like she'd been expecting someone else and got me instead.
"You looked happy out there today." The words came out slurred at the edges, rougher than I meant.
Silence. Then a sharp exhale.
"You're drunk."
"No shit." I took another pull from the bottle, didn't care if she heard it. "Had to be, to watch you kiss him like that."
"It wasn't real." Flat. Defensive. The tone she used when she was lying to herself as much as me.
"Didn't look fake." I pressed the phone harder against my ear, like I could reach through it and shake the truth out of her. "You with him right now?"
"If I was, it's not your business."
