And why didn’t you?
Fuck off, brain, you’re really not helping. I don’tknowwhy.
But that’s not exactly true.
They saved me.
Hesaved me, and that stupid soft side of me wants to believe that Lynx is nothing like Birch and the others. Even if he is an arsehole.
Fuck, maybe it’s all in my head. The aftereffects of all those painkillers.
I have an active imagination. Maybe hitting my head warped my memories. Fuck knows I’ve watched enough horror films over the years to provide ample material.
I cling to that thought because the alternative is terrifying.
It’s too late, though.
My hands shake as I reach for my phone. I stare at them, willing them to stop, but they won’t cooperate.
A door slams from somewhere above me and I flinch, fear wrapping around me like a vice. I go still as voices filter down, holding my breath until they grow fainter and fainter until silence surrounds me again.
I can’t stay here. I know that, but I have no fucking clue what to do now.
The shaking gets worse, spreading throughout my whole body, and I’m cold suddenly, so fucking cold. Drawing my knees up, I wrap my arms around them and try to breathe through what I’m dimly aware of is an oncoming panic attack.
Hardly surprising, all things considered.
And I can do nothing to stop it.
My heart races. Each breath in and out is a struggle, a fight not to give in to the terror threatening to take hold.
One breath in.
One breath out.
And repeat.
I keep doing it, over and over until finally my body responds.
But I’m so fucking tired.
The stairs are hard and uncomfortable, the edge digging into my spine at this angle, but I need a minute before I get up.
A moment to get control.
Leaning back against the wall, I close my eyes, my whole body sagging with exhaustion.
I’ll stay here, just for a second.
“How long hashe been here? He’s fuckingfreezing.”
Harsh, hissed words rouse me into semi-consciousness, but it’s too much effort to open my eyes.
“I don’t know.”
I’m jostled as arms slide underneath me, one under my knees, the other around my back.
“Someone must’ve noticed he was missing,for fuck’s sake.”
