I shrugged, pulse racing as his thumbs stroked back and forth over my bare hips like they had a mind of their own. “We’rebestfriends.”
Another rumble of laughter, and I didn’t care if we were playing with fire because this version of Max was the one I liked best. Playful and happy, infectious in a way that never failed to make those around him smile. A side of him that I hadn’t seen all that much of lately.
“We’re going to be okay, right?” The words tumbled out before I could stop them. His closeness bringing out the neediness in me. Chasing the reassurance that despite odds that definitely weren’t in our favour, it wouldn’t be like this forever. That I wouldn’t end up in a marriage with someone who hated the idea of it as much as I did.
“Yes,” Max said. Voice heavy with a conviction that should’ve sounded like a lie because he couldn’t promise me that. It didn’t though, and he drew back, brown eyes capturing me with their intensity. “Because I can’t contemplate a future where I can’t have you in every way imaginable.”
His grip tightened, like I might run away from the desperation in his voice if given half a chance.
I wouldn’t.
If anything, I was in danger of pressing closer, losing myself in the comfort of his arms, and pretending the outside world didn’t exist.
As usual, we seemed to be on the same page because Max tugged me forward, a question in his gaze. When I gave the barest of nods, he slid his hands around my back and pulled me into a hug that warmed me from the inside out.
The satisfied sigh I let out was inevitable, and I felt Max’s smile against the side of my neck.
“We’re so bad at this,” he murmured. His breath hit my skin, my full-body shiver giving weight to his words.
“I don’t care.” And in that moment I didn’t give a fuck about Xen or Frost or even my dad. Max’s embrace shut out everything, and if I could’ve stayed in his arms for the rest of forever, I would’ve done.
Thankfully at least one of us hung on to enough sense to put some distance between us. Even if it was only a few inches.
Max winced. “Your scent will be all over me.”
Like I’d ever consider that a bad thing, consequences be damned. I grinned, thoroughly deserving Max’s eye-roll.
“Seriously though,” he said, cupping my jaw. I leant into his touch like always. “We need to be more careful, especially if you’re seeing them all on Saturday.”
“I know.” My sigh this time was anythingbutsatisfied. Carrying a little of Max’s scent was inevitable, seeing how we lived together. Anything more than a trace would raise eyebrows at work—where we were headed soon—but Max was a touchy-feely kind of guy. Everyone there was used to us smelling like each other.
Goddess, some days half thedepartmentsmelt like him.
But if I walked into lunch on Saturday with the scent of another shifter on my skin, I’d raise more than an eyebrow, and it wouldn’t just be me facing the consequences of that.
I stepped back to lean on the worktop, giving us the space we needed but didn’t want. “You ready to head off?” I asked, trying to inject some normality into the conversation.
Max eyed me for a minute, and I wondered if he was going to roll with the subject change or not. When he shoved his hands in his pockets, shoulders slumping in resignation, I got my answer. “In a few,” he replied, gaze sweeping over me. “How ’bout you?”
“I can be ready in ten if you want to drive in together.” We’d spent a few weeks on alternate shifts at the beginning, in an attempt to make it easier to go back to being friends.
Turned out it didn’t matter whether I saw Max or not, the growing feelings I had for him hadn’t waned. So we gave up on that.
Max nodded. “I’ll be out of the office most of the day though, so you won’t be able to use the car.”
“That’s fine, I don’t need it.”
“Okay then. I’ll wait in the living room for you.” He turned and left.
I listened to the sound of his footsteps down the hall, head tilted back to look at the ceiling.
For two and a half months we’d tried to go back to how we were before.
It still hurt as much as it had that first night.
Goddess, we needed to find something to get us out of this mess because I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep my hands off him.
And like Max said, we had to believe there was a way out of this, because I couldn’t contemplate a future without him either.
