So we stayed like that, arms wrapped around each other, for what could’ve been hours or minutes.
Eventually Max let out a sigh that sounded so final I wanted to cry. “We should go to bed,” he said, voice soft. The words tickled my skin, drawing a shiver from me until I remembered that we’d be going to bed alone.
For the foreseeable future.
It physically hurt to ease him back and away from me.
But there was no other choice.
Alpha’s fucking orders.
Maybe we could still sleep together?As soon as the thought entered my head, I dismissed it, because lying beside Max without being able to touch him like I wanted—like Ineeded—would be the cruellest form of torture.
“We should,” I said after the silence had stretched too long. “We still have work in the morning.” And wasn’t that going to be fun. I hoped nothing got reported to our office regarding Faris’s death, because lying to DCI Thornton wasn’t high on my list of things to do. Ever.
We walked up the stairs in more silence and it felt so wrong, my skin itched with it. I was used to playful banter. Even before we took our relationship to the next stage, our house was full of teasing and laughter.
Flirting.
Not this awful silence that sucked the joy from the walls.
“Hey.” I grabbed his hand before he could disappear into his bedroom. “It can’t be like this.” I gestured between the two of us. “I know it hurts that we can’t be together.” I rubbed my chest at the sharp stab of pain as I acknowledged that. “But I can’t lose you as a friend too.” I squeezed his fingers, urging him to understand.
Another sigh, and for a second I thought he was going to say it was too hard, but then his lips twitched, curving up into that soft smile that never failed to lighten my mood. “Never. You’ll never lose me like that.” He cupped my jaw, tilting my chin until I met his gaze. “No matter what happens, even if it hurts, you’ll always have me as a friend.” A lone tear escaped and trailed down his cheek, but his expression never wavered. “Always.”
