I’m not.No matter how much my heart says otherwise.
“I hate how things are between us. I just want us to go back to being friends like before.”
“And you think you can do that by telling him what you’ve just told me?”
“Yes.”
I couldn’t lie to Axel, not that he’d believe me anyway. The truth would be painful and possibly mortifying, but Rys was right. Things couldn’t go on like this. Sooner or later it would affect the pack.
“Fuck, Talis.” He rubbed his jaw. “As your alpha, I think it’s the right thing to do, and I need this resolved between the two of you.” His expression softened. “As your best friend, I’m so fucking sorry things didn’t work out with him. As shifters, we’re programmed to want companionship in all its forms. It’s in our blood. For whatever reasons, Axel doesn’t see life that way. Never has in all the years I’ve known him, and I don’t see that changing.”
“Yeah, I know.” Didn’t make it any easier to stomach though.
“When we fall for someone, it goes bone deep. But for your own sanity, you have to get over him.” His eyes were so full of understanding I had to blink back tears as reality finally began to sink in.
Axel wasn’t mine.
Never had been.
Never would be.
I hoped convincing him I knew that was easier than convincing myself.
“I’m swapping you off guard duty tonight.”
“What? No.” I shook my head and pulled my hands out of his grip. “I’m good. I could do with the fresh air.” And maybe there was no time like the present to get this over with.
“It’s not up for discussion. You’re not in the right headspace, and I’d be letting us both down if I allowed you to go out there like this.”
This time I managed to bite back the growl rumbling in my chest, because he was right. As much as I hated to admit it, my mind was all over the place. I wanted to clear the air with Axel, but not at the expense of his safety. Grudgingly, I nodded. “Fine.”
“Take the night to clear your mind. Go for a run or whatever you need to sort things up here.” He tapped his temple. “And if you need longer, just let me know.”
“I will.”
Rys smirked and shook his head. We both knew I wouldn’t be asking for any more time. But he had a point. I couldn’t face Axel until I knew exactly what I wanted to say and could put some conviction behind it.
A glance out the kitchen window showed the sun well on its way to setting. Now Rys had mentioned it, a run through the forest sounded more appealing by the second. I could almost feel the wind in my face and the dirt under my paws. “I think I’ll take your advice and go for that run.”
Rys nodded, then narrowed his eyes. “Maybe stay around the lake, though.”
Away from Axel’s house.
“Of course.”
Human me had every intention of following his advice. Whether that carried over into my shifted form remained to be seen.
AXEL
Oomph!
For what felt like the hundredth time that afternoon, I was flat on my back, looking up at the sky.
Dathal’s laughter rang out loud and clear.
Pushing up to a sitting position, I glared at him. “I don’t know why you’re laughing. This just goes to show what a piss-poor teacher you are.”
His grin widened. “I’m an excellent teacher. I’ve taught countless fae guard to fight, both hand-to-hand and with their weapons of choice. I think you’ll find the problem is you.” He held out a hand, and I grudgingly let him tug me to my feet. “Again.”
