And that realisation stole my breath and left an ache in my chest that I was powerless to ease.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” he murmured, the tears he’d held back so far escaping and trailing down his cheeks.
I stood, tugging him up with me and wrapped my arms around him. “Shh. You have nothing to apologise for.”
He was still my friend, still my packmate. And even though that might be all we’d ever be, knowing what I did now made that a little easier to accept.
And he was hurting.
I held him tight, his head pressed against the side of my neck, and I pushed down the part inside me that screamed that he was mine.
Maybe one day it’d get easier.
His arms slid around my waist, his sigh tickling skin wet from his tears. “If there was anyone I could see myself trusting again, it would be you,” he whispered. “But there’s something broken inside me now, and I just… Ican’t.” His voice faltered on the last word.
I squeezed my eyes shut and bit back a whimper.
Youcantrust me.
I’d never hurt you.
I prayed to the Goddess with everything in me that he heard my thoughts, that his magic chose now to manifest and let him see the truth in my heart.
But he didn’t so much as flinch.
When he finally tilted his head back to meet my eyes, the urge to kiss him, to cover his mouth with mine, feel the teasing stroke of his tongue was almost my undoing.
“I want to kiss you,” he breathed, and maybe his magicwasworking.
“I want to kiss you too,” I admitted, a low growl escaping when he licked his lips.
His hands flexed against my waist, fingers playing with the edge of the blanket. “We could do that.” Hope flared in his eyes. “I know I can’t promise youmore, but we could still do this. Icanpromise that it would only be you while we were together.”
His offer was tempting.
So fucking tempting.
And with him in my arms, warm and solid and so veryright, it was on the tip of my tongue to sayyes.
My wolf screamed at me to say it, to take whatever Axel was offering, but for once I ignored my instincts, and it was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do.
Instead of kissing him like every part of me yearned to do, I touched my forehead to his. “I can’t do this. I can’t be with you like this and then have you look at me like I’m the biggest mistake you ever made. Not again.” I met his gaze, hoping he could see the truth in mine. “It wouldkillme.”
“Talis.” He reached up and cupped my jaw. “I wouldn’t do that. Not this time, I promise.”
I shook my head because hecouldn’tpromise me.
I knew it then and I knew it now.
And as much as I wanted to hold him tight and lose myself to his warmth and the magic of his touch, I couldn’t. Couldn’t open my heart and my soul and let him inside again. I wouldn’t survive it when things eventually ended between us.
Because they would.
There was no happily ever after for me and Axel.
Syl howled from deep in the thick of the forest, giving me the excuse I didn’t want, but needed, to leave Axel and not do something else we’d both end up regretting.
“I have to go.”
