Rys sighed and set his forearms on the table. “I know I said you didn’t have to tell me what was going on between you and Axel. But that was before. Ever since Dathal told us about the possible threat to Axel’s life, since our pack began sharing guard duty with him, I’ve watched you struggle.”
I groaned and folded my arms. “I thought I’d hidden it well enough.”
Rys laughed. “What a shit alpha I’d be if I didn’t notice my beta was fighting his base instincts on a near daily basis. What a fucking awfulfriendI’d be if I didn’t see how badly you want to protect him every second of every day but can’t because you know he’d hate it.”
“He would,” I said softly, the words like knives to my heart. “I’m pretty sure he’d be pissed off if he knew that I take as much of the guard duty as I do.” I glanced at Rys. “I’m surprised you haven’t cut my nights, if I’m honest.” Axel might have been fae, but he was as much a member of Rys’s pack as the rest of us now. And Rys looked after all his pack.
“He knows.”
“What?”
Rys shrugged. “You and Sasha are my betas. The most trusted members of my pack and my most capable fighters. Why wouldn’t I have the two of you picking up as much of the guard duty as you’re willing to do?”
“And he was okay with that? With me?” I knew he wouldn’t have a problem with Sasha watching over him, but having me watch his home and the forest surrounding it? I couldn’t see how that wouldn’t irritate him.
“He’s not stupid, Talis. He knows I don’t take a threat to one of my pack lightly. Of course, I’m going to put my most experienced pack members on it. Besides,” Rys added with a sly grin, “Dathal was very vocal in his agreement.”
Ahh.
That made more sense.
Axel might not want me watching over him, but he wouldn’t go against DathalandRys. And thank fuck for that, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to sit back and do nothing. It was bad enough on the nights I remained at the pack house. If I had to do that every night, I think I’d tear the place apart.
Rys took a drink of his tea, then took his time setting it back down. “Have the two of you tried talking it out? It’s been like this for months.”
Nine to be exact.
I snorted. “That would involve us actually being in the same place alone for any length of time.”
“I’ll take that as a no, then.”
He looked less than impressed, but despite what he might think, I had considered getting Axel on his own and trying to fix this mess. But the timing was never right.
“Before Gabriel arrived, Axel was back and forth through the gateway a lot, meeting with the high court.”
“I remember.”
I still thought he did it mainly to avoid me, because he managed to do it with unerring accuracy. “And then Gabriel got here, and it all kicked off with Tombs.”
Rys’s lip curled at the mention of his name.
“And my little display at Gabriel’s house when Tombs poisoned me…” I held out my hands. “Made it ten times worse.”
“You can’t be held responsible for that.” Rys huffed, forehead scrunched. “He injected you with Blue Alhuirn, for fuck’s sake. You weren’t exactly yourself.”
He understood that more than anyone. I wasn’t the only one poisoned that day.
“I know.” I ran my thumb around the rim of my mug, sorting out what I wanted to say. “I don’t remember much about that day, not after they injected me anyway. But I remember Axel’s blood. I remember smelling it, seeing him lying there, and I wanted to kill anyone who came near him.”
Even now, thinking about it made my skin itch, and my hand tightened around my mug.
Rys put a hand on my arm. His touch warm, grounding. “You think he’s your soulmate?”
Did I?
I’d be lying if I said the idea hadn’t occurred to me, but I always thought there’d be absolutely no doubt in my mind if I ever found my soulmate. And that wasn’t the case. I looked up, Rys’s brown-eyed gaze giving me the strength to voice what I hadn’t said aloud before now. “It’s crossed my mind. But shouldn’t I have known for sure?” I pressed my free hand to my chest, over my heart. “Wouldn’t I feel it here if Axel was meant for me? Like you did with Gabriel?”
Rys had known it deep down inside that Gabriel was his. Axel and I had fucked, and yes, in the heat of the moment, I’d imagined biting him, claiming him as mine, but it had been easy enough to push those fleeting thoughts aside. If we were soulmates, surely the urge to bite him would’ve been bone deep and almost impossible to resist?
