Hadn’t been for a while now.
“I think I’ll stay here for a bit. People watch.”
He gave a pointed look above us, no subtlety at all this time. “Well, you won’t be the only one.” And then he was gone, melting into the crowd as he made his way back to the bar.
And Nick.
When Dathal came through the gateway to stay with me, never in my wildest dreams did I imagine him staying here, let alone completing a fae joining pact with a witch. But he had, and I couldn’t be happier for him. They were perfect for each other in a way that I’d never wanted for myself.
Is that true though?
Or had I convinced myself I didn’t want it, because the alternative terrified me down to my bones? Maybe Midnight wasn’t the best place for such deep self-reflection, but my mind didn’t seem to care. Before I realised what I was doing, I was halfway up the stairs.
* * *
Talis
I sensed Axel before I saw him.
My whole body instantly alert as his scent reached me even in the midst of all these people. I’d know it anywhere.
I didn’t look at him though, kept my hands on the railing and my eyes on the sea of dancers below me. Even when he stood beside me, when the pull to touch him, look at him, acknowledge him in some way was almost impossible to ignore, I didn’t move.
Mirroring my position, he blew out a breath. “So it’syourturn to ignoreme, is it?” The resignation in his tone tested my resolve, but he’d made his feelings perfectly clear.
“I thought you only liked talking to me when I can’t answer back.” Or apparently made it crumble into dust. I growled, more at myself than Axel, because it seemed I had no fucking willpower where he was concerned.
“You could’ve shifted back if you had something to say.”
I swallowed down the snippy retort on the tip of my tongue, tired of doing this with him. “You’re right, I could’ve done.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
I turned to look at him then, unable to have this conversation without seeing his face. “Because I’m not sure what’s left to say.” I leant closer, voice lowered to barely more than a whisper. “You regret what we did, as you’ve told me more than once.”
“Because I—”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matterwhy, Axel. Nothing changes the fact that you regret a night that I wouldn’t take back for anything, because it was one of the best nights of my entire life.”
He stared at me, eyes wide, shocked.
Fuck.
I’d promised myself I’d never tell him that, but like everything else with Axel, I couldn’t seem to help myself.
His mouth opened but no words came out. I almost made a joke about finally getting him to shut up, but nothing about this was funny. A swirl of emotions seemed to pass over his face, flitting from one to the other far too fast for me to get a read on. The million other scents surrounding us made it difficult to pick out anything that way either.
So I waited, arms folded, because I’d said all I had to say.
It was his turn now.
After what felt like forever, he ran a hand through his hair. A hand that shook so badly I was reaching out to grasp it before I caught myself.
Too late now.
My fingers curled around his, the warmth of his skin triggering a visceral reaction because I remembered exactly how it felt to touch him. To hold his hands above his head while I looked down into violet eyes full of heat and laughter instead of the fear and vulnerability I saw now. “What’s wrong?”
He gripped my hand tight, almost painfully so if I hadn’t been built to heal.
