“The last time I was here, Tim and his team tortured Logan. Max and I hid while they did unspeakable fucking things to him. I couldn’t hear what they were saying or doing, but I heard him scream, and coming here...” He shook his head quickly. “It brings it all back.”
Michael sighed, guilt rearing its ugly head again. “I know it doesn’t help now, but I’m sorry for what Tim did. I never authorised the use of that serum or the torture of our own fucking pack members.” He’d never been so angry as when he’d found out, but with Tim’s entire team dead, there was little he could do, and reprimanding Simon after the fact would’ve raised too many eyebrows.
Cole was quiet as they drove up to the entrance to Carnglaze. “You still authorised the use of it on people you considered traitors though?” he asked, voice soft but steely.
Michael sighed again. “I did.” It was one of the many things he’d done in his time as alpha that made him sick with guilt. “I won’t offer any excuses. I did what I had to do in order to remain alpha and keep myself above suspicion.” He rubbed a hand through his hair as he slowed the car to a stop and turned the engine off. “I don’t expect you to understand, and I will always carry the guilt of some of the decisions I made. But I can’t change it.”
Cole glanced at him, expression sad, but not filled with derision like Michael had expected. “I understand a little of what it was like.” He unclipped his seatbelt but didn’t make a move to get out. “All the time I was with your pack, I was living a lie. In the end, I wasn’t forced to do anything that I couldn’t handle, but that was only because we escaped before it happened.” He met Michael’s gaze, his expression hardening. “But I would’ve done it if it meant keeping mine and Logan’s secret safe.” He shrugged. “I don’t like thinking about that side of me. But like you said, it’s done. We can’t change it. But we can make it so we’re never in that position again.” With a nod, he got out of the car.
Nick and Sam followed him, but Michael noted that Smith still sat in the back seat.
“I know you’ll always carry that guilt with you,” Smith said, taking Michael by surprise. “But you should know that we understand why you did what you did. And we don’t blame you for it.” Michael stared at him and Smith rolled his eyes. “I know we weren’t all that forgiving at first, but it was a huge fucking shock, and a lot has happened since we left London.” He reached out and grabbed Michael’s shoulder, a move that left him speechless and choked him up a little if he was honest. “We’ve already forgiven you. Now you need to forgive yourself.” He got out of the car, leaving Michael sat there, stunned.
It took him a couple of seconds to get his head together, and then he smiled, letting himself bask in that moment for a second more before steeling himself and getting out of the car.
Nick turned to him as soon as he joined them. “They’re here.”
Michael scented the air, and sure enough, he detected seven or more human scents. “How do you know it’s them?”
Nick grinned. “Because I recognise them.”
Cole frowned next to him. “The ones from the house, right? The one that Paul took me to?”
“Among others. Yes.” He looked at Michael and gestured toward the entrance to the caves. “Shall we?”
Michael let Cole lead the way since he was the only one that had been there before. They passed a house that had seen better days and a peeling display board partly reclaimed by the forest.
“This was once a rum store,” Cole said, smile soft. “Logan told me that when we came here.” He sucked in a shaky breath, and Michael instinctively gripped his shoulder. “I know it’s hard being so far away from him.”
Cole huffed out a laugh. “He told me to expect something like this, but I’ll admit, I thought he was exaggerating.” He rubbed a hand over his heart. “It actually fucking hurts.”
Michael tightened his grip before letting go. “The first time is always the hardest. It’ll get easier with time.”
“I fucking hope so,” Cole muttered but squared his shoulders and walked into the cave.
Michael hung back, letting the others go in first.
“Is he going to be all right?” Sam asked quietly, as Cole went ahead of them.
“Yeah, I think so. Bonded mates struggle to be apart.”
Sam caught his arm. “How are you feeling?” When Michael looked at him, confused, Sam raised his eyebrows. “You might not be bonded to Isaac, but none of us are blind. Or deaf, for that matter.”
Michael ducked his head to hide his smile. But with it also came the tightness in his chest as he thought about Isaac in London. “I’m trying not to think about it too much.”
Sam winced. “Sorry.”
Michael waved him off. “Come on, let’s not keep them waiting.”
The human members of the resistance stood in a group at the back of the cave, watching as Nick, Cole, and Smith made their way towards them.
A few broke off to greet Nick like old friends. They greeted Cole after, but Smith hung back, looking extremely uncomfortable.
Michael walked quickly to stand beside him, feeling him relax as their arms brushed. One look at the group of humans and Michael understood his unease. They were all heavily armed.
He’d expected as much, but seeing it for himself was a bit of a shock. Their weapons weren’t aimed directly at him and Smith, but they weren’t exactly lowered, either.
Nick walked two of the humans over toward him. “Michael McKillan, meet Val and David, human leaders of the CEG and resistance.”
