Somewhere between Michael’s arrival and now, he’d conveniently forgotten that Michael had left his whole life behind.
Stupid.
“Hey.” Michael’s arms slid around his waist as he hugged him from behind. “This okay?”
No. Not even close.
“Yes.” Isaac leant into his hold and closed his eyes.
“To answer your question, yes, I miss being alpha, and I miss my pack.” The breath he blew out tickled the back of Isaac’s neck and he shivered. “Some of them, anyway.” He held Isaac tighter against him, resting his forehead on his shoulder. “But I don’t miss the weight of leading a double life, of pretending to agree with the vile fucking words coming out of Simon and some of his team. Or playing nice with the other alphas on the council when what I really wanted to do is grab them by the throat and yell that they’re no fucking better than the humans who sat there before them.”
“What are you saying?” Isaac held his breath, the hope in his heart a dangerous thing to embrace.
“I don’t know.” The frustration mixed with regret in his voice was what kept Isaac in his arms, rather than pulling away and returning to the others. “I’m sorry.” It was so soft, like a whisper against his skin.
“It’s okay.” He put his hands over Michael’s, where they gripped his waist. “It was unfair of me to ask you that. Especially now, when we have no way of knowing how this will all end.”
Selfish.
“Don’t do that,” Michael whispered, holding on tight when Isaac went to pull away.
“Do what?” he asked, giving up and leaning back against Michael’s warm chest. It wasn’t as though he really wanted to go anywhere.
“Play the martyr.”
Isaac snorted.
“If we’re serious about this...” He squeezed their joined hands. “Aboutus. Then you have every right to ask about my plans after this mess is sorted out one way or another.”
Isaac remained silent, knowing he wasn’t finished. And that he was right.
“And I know I should have an answer for you, but... I just don’t. Not yet.” He drew in a shaky breath.
Does he think that’s a hard limit for me?
Is it?
It probably should be. All indicators pointed to a world of heartbreak, but Isaac didn’t have it in him to call this off between them. Not when he’d only just got him back. Like Michael said, he didn’t know.
Neither of them did.
Maybe they’d decide they didn’t work together as a couple anymore and this whole discussion was a moot point. He glanced down at Michael’s arms wrapped around him, holding him close, and mentally rolled his eyes at himself.
What utter bollocks.
In Michael’s arms was the one place he felt truly safe.
If he was honest with himself, Michael had been his home five years ago, and after only two days, he knew it was only a matter of time before he felt that way again. He looked out at the dark water, the moon still casting her eerie glow over it, and asked himself if he could ever give this up.
Because if he was prepared to ask Michael to give up his pack, his family, then shouldn’t he be prepared to do the same?
He immediately pushed that thought to the back of his mind, well aware he might not like the answer.
“We should get back,” Isaac said, slipping out of Michael’s grip, and this time Michael let him.
“We haven’t resolved anything.”
Isaac sighed. “No, but I don’t think we’re going to, either. Let’s take it a day at a time and see what happens.”
