“Hush.” She pressed a finger to his lips. “What if you are none of those things, and all your worrying is for naught? What if you kiss me and allow your worries to slip away?”
He kissed the pad of her finger, then plucked it away from his mouth. “What if I kiss you and I never want to stop?”
“That sounds like heaven to me.”
“Damn. It does to me, too.” He sighed, pinning her with his vibrant-emerald stare. “I did not come to you tonight for this. Especially after what happened in the hell with that bastard of a viscount.”
“Pray do not mention him now. I don’t want to think about that.”
“Fair enough. We shan’t. But, Caro, you must know how it feels, coming to you after what I saw.” His gaze was open, earnest.Loving. “I would never wish for you to regret your decision. If you’re making it in haste—”
“I am not,” she interrupted. “What is between us has no relation to what occurred earlier. You are not that sort of man. You are a true gentleman. Noble, loyal, brave, sweet, and true. You could not be more different from Derby.”
“You are sure?”
His hold on her tightened, his eyes searching hers. “I’ve never been more certain of anything.”
He gave a jerky nod, his expression turning adorably shy. “If we are to… If we… Hell, Caro. I don’t know how to go about this. Or mayhap I do. The trouble is, I don’t recall. The man I am now has no notion of what comes next.”
She smiled, drinking in the sight of him, flushing and embarrassed and beloved in her arms, this tall, hulking beast of a man. Her gentle giant. Her love.
“I have no notion of what comes next either,” she admitted. She had allowed Philip liberties, but she had never lain with him, and she was more grateful than ever for her restraint now.
Because she wanted to experience lovemaking for the first time with Gavin Winter and no one else. Even if he did not remember who he was.
He inhaled slowly, his hands traveling in the same, delicious caress up and down her back. His head dipped toward hers. “The way you look at me…I could never tire of that. You wear your heart for me to see.”
She smiled, but his words filled her with sadness, too. And more guilt. Just like the song she had sung for him, which had been a soldier’s hopeful belief his love’s prayers would keep him safe in battle, Gavin seemed to believe her an angel.
How wrong he was. And how deeply she hated herself. But not enough to stop.
“I love you,” she told him, because that, at least, was truth.
“I love you, Caro.” His head dipped, and his mouth crushed hers in a passionate, claiming kiss.
* * *
They had kissedtheir way to Caro’s bed, stripped each other of their garments, and settled in it together, bodies entwined, her softness against his hardness. He was acutely aware of his size compared to hers—she felt so small and precious in his arms, and he had no wish to crush her beneath his massive body.
It occurred to him that while his body knew what it wanted, his mind was uncertain of the steps. Was he a bloody virgin? He had no inkling. It hardly mattered, aside from his desire to make Caro weep with bliss.
He wanted to lick her until she screamed and came on his tongue.
That hardly seemed the thought of an inexperienced man, did it?
He deepened their kiss, his tongue teasing hers, as he gave in to his weakness and passed a hand down the smooth roundness of her belly to the apex of her thighs. She was hot and silken. He dared to explore lower, parting her folds until he found her slick and smooth. The plump bud of her sex greeted his fingers, and he swirled over it in a gentle massage, testing her, learning what she liked.
Everything was new. Himself, the woman in his arms, this love. He felt as if the heavens had opened and unimaginable gifts had been showered upon him. Hell, if this was the reward for nearly cocking up his toes behind an East End gaming hell, he would gladly suffer all the pain and punishment again just to have this moment.
Just to have this woman.
To have his Caro.
He increased the pressure on her nubbin, and her hips bucked. She made a low, seductive sound that he swallowed with his kiss. So ready, his sweet Caro. So wet.Fuck, his cock was hard as iron, pressed against the softness of her belly. His ballocks were drawn taut with need. It had been too long—he knew not how long—since he had found true release beyond the comfort his hand could provide.
But he told himself he would not rush their coupling. He wanted to savor her. To seduce her. To give her as much pleasure as he possibly could. He tore his mouth from hers and dragged kisses down her throat, all while his fingers continued plying their torture, fast and hard until she made the most delicious sounds deep in her throat, then slow and soft pets that had her clutching at him and pleading for more.
Oh, how sweet she was.
