“Ga—merciful angels and saints!” The exclamation left her, and her belly sizzled with pent-up anguish as she realized she had almost spoken his name aloud.
It had not been the first occasion for such a slip, either.
“I am neither an angel nor a saint, I trust.” He winked, then grinned. “Common fame has it that I am a man, formed of flesh and blood. All too mortal. I nearly went to Rothisbone until an angel saved me.”
The stone of guilt inhabiting her stomach seemed to double in size. “I am not an angel either, and I can assure you of that. But that is neither here nor there. What are you doing in my carriage?”
He gestured with his good hand, drawing her attention to his long legs and well-muscled thighs, so clearly outlined by the snugness of his trousers. “Sitting here, of course.”
She sighed. He was so bloody charming, she could forget about all the reasons why he should not be in this carriage with her. The potential danger to him was chief among them.
“How did you know I was taking the carriage today?” she asked softly as the conveyance lurched into motion.
She had already informed Jerome, The Sinner’s Palace coachman, where she was going. To the same apothecary she visited every few months. He was simply doing his duty. She wondered then if Gavin had been conspiring with the men in the Sutton family employ.
“Jerome told me.” His grin deepened.
Gavin Winter was befriending everyone in The Sinner’s Palace. She was not surprised. He was kind, caring, and sweet. He was a man who had overcome tremendous wounds, the likes of which would have proved the end of most. And yet, here he sat opposite her, trusting, handsome, beloved.
Everything within her froze at the word, the sentiment. Could it be that she had fallen in love with him?
“Caro?” Gavin’s smile faded, turning into a concerned frown. “Are you displeased I am here? If you are worried your brother will discover I accompanied you this morning, you needn’t fear. Jerome is a friend. He’ll not carry any tales. I came directly to the carriage from the private quarters, and no one saw me.”
That was not what had been worrying her most, but she leapt upon the excuse, which was far easier than admitting she had fallen in love with the handsome man seated opposite her.
But she had. The truth was there, in her heart, undeniable despite all the reasons why she should not love Gavin Winter. For as long as she could recall, the Winters had been the enemies of the Suttons. Recent relaxations in the tensions between their families had been promising, but all it would require was the Winters to discover Jasper had been secreting their missing brother from them for war to come raging in the East End.
Then, there was the matter of her continued deceit. With each day that passed as she knew Gavin’s identity and kept it from him at her brother’s request, another part of her shriveled away. The goodness in her that Philip had not destroyed was being decimated by the continued lie.
And Gavin was staring at her now, his expression open and unguarded. Trusting, even. She was not worthy of his confidence. Not worthy of his love.
“I trust Jerome,” she managed.
The one she did not trust was herself. Because the more time she spent in Gavin’s presence, the more her feelings for him deepened. The bond between them grew stronger by the day. And when they would be torn asunder, as inevitably they must…
Her heart would be devastated.
Gavin grinned, looking boyishly handsome, with a mischievous air she could not help but to find infectious. “Do you trustme?”
Too much.
This was a dangerous path they were traveling together.
“Yes,” she admitted. “However, you must promise to remain in the carriage while I visit the apothecary.”
He raised a dark brow, studying her. “How much longer will I be a prisoner, do you suppose?”
“You are not a prisoner,” she denied with haste.
Too much haste.
Because it was true—truer than Gavin knew.
And she hated it.
He winced. “Feels that way. I’m a prisoner of my mind and a prisoner within four walls.”
Her heart ached for him at his inability to recall who he was. “Have you had any more memories?”
