Something told her that wasn’t the correct question either. “I really don’t know what I’m supposed to ask you after what we just did, Your Grace. Couldn’t you tell this was my first time?”
“It’s Bray, Louisa. My name is Bray, not Your Grace, and of course I knew it was your first time.”
“Then why are you irritated that I don’t know all the rules yet?”
“There are no certain rules.” He stopped and ran his hand through his hair. “You will drive me to madness. You are supposed to ask me to marry you now that I’ve taken your virtue from you.”
Confused, she asked, “You should have told me that before we—we did it.”
“I did. We discussed this. Now, granted, we were in the throes of passion at the time, but you told me you understood. In fact, you told me twice that you understood the meaning of what we were doing.”
“I did. I do. It meant I am no longer a virgin, but I never said I’d ask you to marry me.”
“That’s what I meant when I asked you if you understood.”
“Well, you didn’t make yourself clear.”
“Could you at least act a little more worried about this?”
“There is nothing to be concerned about. It happened and it’s over, and that’s all there is to it.”
“No, that isn’t all there is to it, Louisa. There is always the possibility of a child from our coming together.”
Merciful heavens!
That danger should have crossed her mind when he had his hands and lips all over her body but it hadn’t. All reasonable thought had deserted her.
She summoned an inner strength and said, “I will not borrow that kind of trouble and make myself go mad with worry over something that may not happen.”
“Then let’s settle it here and now.” He advanced on her and quietly said, “Ask me to marry you, Louisa.”
He seemed so serious. This was her chance to marry the man she loved. But what would it mean for her sisters if she married a man who knew only about the things that made him happy and nothing about what a real family life was like? She could handle the wild duke, but could he accept her sisters? He would not love her or help her care for her sisters. He could hardly bear to be around them.
“No, I will not,” she insisted, and pulled her robe together. “I don’t want to marry you. I think it’s time for you to go.”
“What just happened between us leaves you no choice.”
Louisa stood her ground. “I beg your pardon. I do have a choice, and my choice is no. I will not ask you to marry me, and I will not marry you if you should ask me again.”
“That won’t happen.”
“Good,” she said on a breathy sigh. “Now, please go before Gwen and Mrs. Colthrust return and find you here.”
“Well, we wouldn’t want that, would we? Mrs. Colthrust might try to insist that you marry me!” Bray jerked his cloak off the settee and slung it carelessly over his arm. Not even trying to be quiet, he stomped from the room and out the front door, shutting it soundly behind him.
Chapter 23
A heavy heart bears not a nimble tongue.
—Love’s Labour’s Lost,act 2, scene 2
Louisa and Mrs. Colthrust sat in uncomfortable chairs and waited in the vestibule of the Court of Chancery building. She had asked to see either the Master of the Rolls or the Lord Chancellor but was told she must talk to a Chancery solicitor first. He would evaluate her petition and decide if it should be considered further by anyone else.
It had taken three days and a basketful of persuasion, but Louisa finally wore down Mrs. Colthrust’s reluctance and convinced the woman to go with her. Louisa had promised her that she wouldn’t have to speak but simply act as her chaperone, as she had for all the parties, teas, and balls they attended. She also promised that she would never breathe a word to her uncle that his sister-in-law had gone with her to the court.
Louisa was not unhappy that she had given her innocence to Bray a few nights ago. She wished with all her heart that somehow they could be together again, and that was what had her sitting here, waiting to find out what she needed to do to have the duke removed as their guardian.
She had to deny her own loving feelings for Bray and focus on her sisters. She couldn’t marry and give a husband and children of her own the attention they deserved until all her sisters were wed. She couldn’t leave them as her parents and brother had, and if she kept up her association with Bray, she feared she might give in to his charms again.
