“Because I’m not,” he answered without bothering to look at Harrison.
“So the gossip’s not true,” Harrison said with surprise lacing his voice.
The corners of Bray’s lips lifted in a sly grin. “I don’t know what you’ve heard, but according to the ton, gossip is always true.”
“Well, hell—are you engaged or not?” Harrison grumbled.
Harrison usually had the good sense not to ask for answers Bray didn’t want to give. He supposed their three-day journey on horseback was wearing on both of them.
“No.”
“Everyone I’ve spoken to seems to think you’re a devilish brute and the worst sort of scoundrel for not keeping your word to her dying brother and making her your bride.”
“That’s right.”
“But most feel you’ll live up to your oath in the end and do the suitable thing and marry her.”
Bray grunted and shifted in his saddle. “You’ve been back less than two weeks and you were laid up with a cracked rib for most of that time. How many people have you talked to?”
“I’ve been out to White’s a few times.”
Bray grunted again ruefully. “You did say something earlier about it looking as if nothing had changed in London while you were away.”
They crested a knoll and saw the man they were looking for standing along the edge of a cliff with his horse hobbled nearby. They reined in their mounts and stopped. Adam wasn’t hard to recognize even in the commoners’ clothing and workers’ hat he was wearing. His six-foot-four height and broad-shouldered frame towered over most men. For a split second, Bray had the awful feeling Adam might be thinking about the possibility of ending his pain.
Bray remained silent as Harrison threw him a questioning look. “You don’t think he’s considering—”
“No,” Bray cut in before Harrison could voice what Bray had just thought. “He’s looking over the cliff at something below.”
“Do you think he’ll know why we’re here?” Harrison asked.
“Wouldn’t you?”
Harrison nodded. “Right now I’m wondering if we should have intruded on his mourning. Maybe we should have given him longer.”
“Don’t you think it’s a little late to have second thoughts about that, now that we’ve traveled for three days to get here?”
“Blast it, Bray, what are we supposed to say to Adam?”
“We don’t have to say anything about why we’re here. He’ll know. He’ll understand we just wanted to check on him and see how he’s doing. He won’t want to talk about it. In fact, I’m sure he fights like hell every day to forget it.”
“That might take a while. I heard she suffered for days.”
Bray knew. He’d been there every agonizing hour with him.
Bray stared at the lonely-looking figure standing on the edge of the cliff and wondered how in the hell anyone could blame Adam if he did decide to jump.
“It’s been over three months,” Bray said. “I think he’ll know we’re not here to intrude but to remind him we’re around whenever he’s ready to come back to London.”
A cold wind whipped rain against the side of Bray’s face. The night Nathan Prim died flashed through Bray’s mind, and his hands tightened on the reins. It had been a cold misty night. He would never forget how desperately he’d wanted to help the man and how helpless he’d felt when he realized he couldn’t do a damn thing to save Prim. And Bray didn’t have to imagine what a man went through when all he could do was stand by and watch his wife die. He’d seen Adam do it.
Bray swallowed the lump in his throat. Lessons learned from childhood came to his aid. The best way to forget about something bad was to think about something that was good.
Miss Prim’s lovely face flashed in his mind again. Now, she was something good. Damn, but he wanted to see her again. He wanted to hold her and kiss her as he had that afternoon a couple of weeks ago. No, not as he had then. He wanted to kiss her without the blindfold. He wanted to look into her gorgeous blue eyes and see the wonder, the surprise, and the pleasure on her face when he taught her all about desire.
He’d thought about coming up with an excuse to go to her house just so he could see her, but every time he thought about it, he’d think again. He didn’t need to kiss Miss Prim no matter how much he wanted to. She was an innocent, and he stayed away from innocents. He couldn’t have her changing that any more than she already had.
But really, how could he not let her touch him?
