Anger jumped on her so fast, she was suddenly reeling. She couldn’t believe she was such an idiot. To want Zane to see her in that color again. No! No! She would remain a widow, wearing dark, drab widow’s weeds.
Why would she want to ever wear that dress? She didn’t even want to go to the ball. An apology from Lord Blacknight meant nothing to her. His word meant nothing to her or anyone else. She’d hung so much hope on him. On that gown. Now she hated it. She never wanted to see the color pink again.
Brina ripped the dress off the wardrobe, wadded and squeezed it into a tight ball. She rushed over to the window, and with amazing strength, threw it open and hurled the gown out.
“Mrs. Feld, what are you doing?” Mrs. Lawton exclaimed.
In the bright moonlight, Brina watched as the wind caught under the thin gossamer fabric and lifted it higher for a moment before slowly allowing the gown to flutter down and fall in a heap on top of the purple rhododendron bush. She stared down at discarded silk and should have felt better.
But she didn’t.
Zane’s apology wouldn’t make her feel better either. He wouldn’t mean it anyway. Ifheeven showed up publicly to give it. Fine. She didn’t want it. It no longer mattered. All she felt was loss.
Another terrible, terrible loss.
“Mrs. Feld?”
Brina heard the housekeeper’s worried voice behind her. She straightened from the window and faced Mrs. Lawton, doing her best to act as if the woman hadn’t witnessed her display of anger.
“Yes?”
“Should I mix you a tonic of brandy and honey?”
“No.” She softly closed the widow. “But I think I will have a brandy. I didn’t sleep well last night, and I’m told it will help settle the nerves.” She turned and saw her bed, where Mrs. Lawton had laid out her shoes, stockings,and lace-trimmed stays. “I’ve decided I’m not going to the ball tonight. You can put away my jewelry and other things and lay out my robe. I’ll be back up shortly.”
She walked downstairs and was headed down the corridor for the drawing room to pour a nip of brandy when she heard a light tap on the front door. Her heart felt as if it jumped to her throat as her first thought was of Zane. Her first thought was always Zane. But then the sound came again, and she realized it sounded like Harper’s knock. She started to call up to Mrs. Lawton to answer the door but stopped. Even if it was the earl, she couldn’t be afraid to face him. What was done, was done.
Cautiously opening the door, she saw it was Harper and fell into his arms. She was so happy it wasn’t Zane. If it had been him, she might have wanted to listen to his excuses, to hear an apology.
“Brina, dearest,” he said, holding her tight. “I’m all right. Everything is fine now. Don’t be upset.”
“I’m just glad it’s you.”
“Who else would it be? Everyone else is at the ball. Where you should be dancing and having a wonderful time.” He held her for a moment longer and then set her away from him. “Why aren’t you?”
She breathed in heavily and suddenly noticed his face. His lip was swollen and there was a cut above his eye.
“I’m not going—but, Harper, by the heavens! What happened to you? Who did this? Don’t tell me you fell as Robert did. I won’t believe you.”
“No, no. I didn’t want you to see me like this. I didn’t think you would be here. I only came to return this.” He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a note and one of her mother’s fine porcelain figurines and placed them on the side table by her bonnet.
What had happened at her parents’ house came backto Brina, and she said, “I don’t understand. What were you doing with it?”
“I stole it from their house. That’s why I was there the afternoon you saw me. I was going to sell it to help pay my debts to Mr. Remick.”
She gasped. “Gambling debts?” She knew Zane’s cousin had been a bad influence on him. This was proof.
“In the end, I didn’t have the nerve to sell it. At first, I thought to just slip back into their house and replace it, but Lord Blacknight told us last night that when you’ve done something wrong, you should make it right.”
She tensed even more. “You saw the earl last night?”
“Not at first.”
“Did he do this to your face?” She could hardly breathe. “He will hear from me about this.” She started toward the door. “Tonight!”
“What? Brina, wait. What are you thinking? He didn’t do this. As heaven is my witness, Blacknight saved us last night. I’ll always be grateful to him.”
Brina blinked. Her mind seemed to be going faster than her ears could hear. “Us? You and Robert? Saved you from what? It looks to me as if he’s taught the two of you how to be brawling gamesters just like he is.”
