Brina gave herself a mental shake and straightened. “Nothing. I am fine. This is what I wanted. Remember?”
“We’ll come over to see you tomorrow,” Julia offered.
“I’m not waiting that long,” Adeline said firmly. “Lyon and I are going to take you home, and I’ll stay with you as long as you want me to.”
“What?” Brina, said, confident she was doing a good job of holding herself together and showing no signs of the unbearable ache inside her. “No. Go.”
“We are not leaving you to handle this hurt by yourself,” Julia insisted. “Adeline and I might be married, but the three of us stick together.”
“Yes. We do,” Brina said, not knowing where she found the willpower to sound so strong but grateful she had it. “But sometimes we must stand on our own. I planned this evening, and I will see it through to the end. I need no help from the two of you tonight.” She smiled. “My carriage is outside. I’ll see myself home and see both of you at the ball tomorrow night when I accept my apology from the earl. Now, time for you two to get your husbands and go. I’m going to visit the retiring room before saying good night to Mrs. Cranston. I’ve not been there all evening, and I simply must go before the ride home.”
Brina reached over and kissed both of Adeline’s and then Julia’s cheeks. “Go on, both of you. I want to be alone but promise we’ll talk later. I must speak to Mrs. Cranston and Lord Blacknight’s uncles before I leave.”
In the retiring room, Brina almost broke down and sobbed. How could he have done this after last night? After how he’d made her feel? After he’d told her he loved her? Wanted only her? It had been a lie. All of it.
Alone as she was, it would have been so easy to let the hurt show. But instead, she replaced it with anger to keep her eyes dry until she could get home.
Zane had not only done this to her but to his peers? To his family? Now, she finally understood why his family had no faith in him. All they believed about him was true. He wasn’t capable of giving up his carefree life to handle his responsibilities. She had only thought she had made a difference in his behavior.
But no. He was still the man she’d seen tied to a chair in Paris. And that was crushing.
Perhaps he’d simply wanted to bed her—the widow no one else had touched. And gambling and drinking tonight was his way of getting out of his wager with her and winning his own. But it really didn’t matter what his reasons were. The outcome was the same. Why couldn’tshe have seen that? Why did she fall for his charming ways and his load of poppycock?
And why should she blame him? He was only doing what came natural to him. She was the one who had changed. Not him. She had fallen in love with a rake of the highest order.
When Brina walked back into the vestibule, Mrs. Cranston was the only one left standing by the front door.
“Sylvester and Hector have already left,” Zane’s sister said. “I am leaving as well. I suggest you do so too. The earl probably won’t be coming home before midmorning. And just think, my dear, you won your wager. The earl has violated the terms of your agreement with him. You’ll be getting that apology you wanted tomorrow night. That must make you feel good.”
If what she was feeling was good, she never wanted to feel bad.
“Serves him right,” Mrs. Cranston continued. “Maybe that will take him down a peg or two. Do take some comfort in that. Most men hate to admit they are wrong.”
She hadn’t lost him to a woman. There might have been women hanging on him while he was gambling and drinking, but she lost him to himself.
“I’m sorry for you, dear.” She gave Brina a sympathetic smile and placed her hand on top of Brina’s shoulder, giving it a quick, tight squeeze. “I know you hoped for better from him. I really thought he was changing too. He’d just settled a lot of things in the family that needed his attention, and everyone had seemed quite happy with his generous increase in allowances.”
“That’s good,” Brina answered with the tiniest of smiles. “So, there was some improvement. You know what they say. We must be thankful for small blessings.”
“I can’t help but notice Lord and Lady Lyonwood didn’t stay to see you home.”
There was no use hiding anything at this point. “Yes. I came in my own carriage. Dreadfully scandalous of me, I know. If you feel you must tell someone, I will understand.”
Mrs. Cranston gave her a swaggering smile. “I like you, Mrs. Feld.”
“Thank you,” Brina whispered. “Now, I hope you don’t mind, but I asked Fulton if I might leave the earl a note. He’s laying out paper and quill for me in the drawing room. I’ll write that, collect my wrap, and be on my way.”
“To the Brass Bull, I hope, to drag the earl out by his ear.”
Brina gave a soft laugh. “Well, if I thought I was strong enough, I might try it.”
“I’m rather sorry it didn’t turn out better for you two. I know I don’t show it, but I really do love my brother. I’ll say good night and be on my way. Fulton will close up after you leave, Mrs. Feld.”
She turned, not giving Brina time to respond. Which was probably best. Her last words had stung. Brina had thought that after last night, after tonight, after tomorrow night, she would no longer be Mrs. Feld.
Brina walked back into the drawing room and sat down at the secretary.
Dear Lord Blacknight,
