His words took the edge off her tense feelings and her footsteps slowed. She laughed softly. It was wonderful the way he could change her outlook with just a few words. “You were so angry that night, I’m surprised you remember what I was wearing.”
“I told you. I can’t forget one thing about you. That night will be with me always.”
“Me too,” she said, returning to her more somber state.“I’ll never forget the shock of hearing you say, ‘Come untie me.’”
The hint of a chuckle in his chest was soothing.
“I was desperate,” he admitted without reservation.
“So was I.”
“You never told me why you were at the ball,” he said, intentionally bumping her arm softly with his elbow.
“We decided the reason for the mask was so people didn’t have to talk about what happened or why they were there.”
“But you know the reason for my presence. I want to know everything about you. Being there, dressed as you were, and now knowing who you are, puzzles me.”
Her steps slowed and she stared at the backs of three men walking in front of them. She supposed there was no harm in telling him since he already knew about her connection to the abbey. “I foolishly thought that since I had looked into a life of celibacy and servitude that I should look into a life of entertainment and debauchery.” She continued to amble along the street without looking at him. “Does that surprise you?”
“No. It sounds like a human reaction.”
She sighed. He was being kind. “The minute my aunt left me on my own, I knew I wasn’t made for that kind of life any more than I would take to life at the abbey. When I entered the room you were in that night, I only wanted a safe place to hide until it was time to meet my aunt and leave.”
“Did something happen after I left you in the room?”
“No, I locked myself inside and thought about you.”
That caused him to glance at her. “Me? Why?”
She stopped again and so did he. “I was wondering if you were doing more than kissing her. The woman who tied you.”
“Brina,” he said her name on a husky breath as he looked deeply into her eyes and shook his head. “Don’t ask about my past.”
“Why can’t I be as curious as you? It’s not like I don’t know you’ve been with countless women. You are known as a scoundrel and rake as well as a gambler.”
“Who has mended his ways,” Zane emphasized. His eyes stayed steady on hers. “For you. I’ve not thought about kissing anyone but you since I saw you walking down the street the day after I arrived in London.”
She looked into his eyes and felt a horrible, overwhelming sense of loss because she knew she couldn’t have him. “I’m not available. I’ve tried to tell you I am committed to being—”
“No,” he said earnestly. “I don’t want you to be a widow, Brina. I don’t want you to be Mrs. Feld. I want you to be my wife, my countess, Lady Blacknight. I am committed to keeping my word and you must be—”
The sudden squeal of youthful laughter startled Brina and Zane. They looked down the street. Not far from them, a boy the age of nine or ten and thin as a sapling was jumping up and down in a jubilant way and in a singsong voice saying, “I won again. I won again.” His friend, younger by more than a couple of years, with full cheeks and a chunky build, stayed huddled against the side of a building, holding cards in his hands.
Thankful for the children’s interruption, Brina said, “It looks as if they are having a good time with their game. I like to see children who are happy and playing.”
“I’m not sure what’s happening,” Zane said, seeming to study the boys intently.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Only one of them appears to be happy. Wait here.” He started walking directly toward the boys.
Brina wasn’t about to stay behind. She was as inquisitive as he was. Catching up to him, she asked, “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to talk to them.” He looked over at her and smiled. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to join their game.”
She returned his smile with a rueful chuckle. “I think you should.”
The two boys weren’t wearing the best of clothing, but it didn’t appear they were street urchins who’d been left to their own care by unfortunate circumstances. They were clean and too well-fed not to have someone looking after them. Brina scanned the area but didn’t see anyone else paying attention to the boys.
