For better or worse, she was bound to Zane right now. He was dangerous but she didn’t want to give up thethrill of being with him. She couldn’t tell Harper that, and he wasn’t in a mood to listen anyway.
But she had to take control of this conversation and settle down her cousin. “Then let me be blunt and tell you the truth,” Brina said, somehow remaining calm. “Someone was following us and spying upon us. I didn’t appreciate it. I asked Blacknight to lose the carriage.”
Harper’s shoulders eased back, and he lifted his chin. “What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I’m saying. The earl is being followed—we assume that someone who has a large amount of money placed on one of the wagers at White’s or one of the other clubs is pursuing him in hopes of seeing him take a drink, play cards, or—whatever. I felt violated by such an act as having my privacy invaded.”
It was really anger she’d felt but wanted to use the stronger word of violation in hopes of quieting Harper even more. And his expression quickly changed to one of concern.
“You’re serious about this?”
“Yes. The man was driving a poorly maintained cabriolet. Speeding up and slowing down when we did, and taking every turn we took. I insisted we must lose him so we could have the benefit of our afternoon without his watchful eyes. Blacknight finally acquiesced to my wishes. So if you are going to be mad with anyone, be that way with me.”
Mrs. Lawton quietly walked into the room and put a tea tray on the small table between the two settees.
“Look,” Brina said. “Mrs. Lawton brought the tea. And she has tarts.” She turned to the housekeeper. “Apricot or figs?”
“Figs, Mrs. Feld.”
“Good. Thank you.” Brina looked at her cousin again. “Sit down, Harper, and I’ll answer any more questionsyou have as long as you realize I am doing it because I want to and not because I have to.”
“Very well.”
Two cups of tea and half a dozen tarts later, Harper was calm and back to his usual cheerful self. She had no idea why, but she kept thinking that something else must have wound him tight and that what happened with the earl had set him off.
After telling him as much as she could about the afternoon with Blacknight, she’d changed the subject to one she knew he would like—cards. He was eager to talk about a new club he and Robert were trying to join. Thankfully, that had him parting on good terms, but she’d been unsettled about how his life seemed to be revolving around card games and clubs, and the parties of the Season all but forgotten. There should be more of a balance between the two.
Long after he left, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right with him. But what?
Chapter 16
Alight mist of rain dusted the top of Zane’s hat and crest of his shoulders as he walked down the street toward the Brass Bull Gaming House in the early evening hour. Foot traffic was sparse because of a turn in the weather, but a steady stream of carriages rolled past him.
Zane chose to walk to his meeting with Harry. It gave him more time to think about Brina. It wasn’t just having her in his arms, at her own volition, that had caused him to suffer unfulfilled passion that was still with him days later. It was that she’d wanted him as strongly and urgently as he had wanted her. She had been so tantalizing, he had to satisfy her.
But then he also had to deny her.
He had sensed the passion simmering beneath the prim exterior of her widow’s clothing long before she had initiated the kiss in the carriage, but he hadn’t expected her to act on it—being a proper lady. They were bothhungry to fulfill their frantic need for each other and would have if she hadn’t put those bloody damned and hellish restrictions on him. He shook his head in frustration as dampness sprinkled his neck.
Brina had been right. Inappropriate, vile curse words had become a habit for him—even in his thoughts.
Zane nodded to a gentleman he passed and then hunkered deeper into his cloak to keep the wet chill off the back of his collar. Whether or not he made the right decision to call a halt to what was about to happen between them in the carriage that afternoon still troubled him. His body would argue that he hadn’t, but his mind disagreed.
Sometimes.
And sometimes he sensed that his heart was weighing in on the matter too. Which was troubling. Those thoughts and feelings he tried to stay away from. It was one thing to want her only for himself. As his bride and countess. Loving her, possibly being in love with her, was an entirely different matter and one he shied away from considering. A feeling such as love wasn’t for gamblers like him.
Brina could never imagine the amount of willpower it had taken for him to set aside his desire for her. Every ounce he’d had, and then some.
The truth of it was that she’d left him no choice but to say no to what they both wanted. He didn’t know if he could trust her not to use his being with a woman, even if it was her, against him at the last ball of the Season when he proposed to her.
Her vow to remain a widow was clear. He couldn’t take her vow to herself lightly.
Her premise from the beginning was that she expected him to fail. And he’d come close a few days ago—which was why he was mostly staying away from her unlessit was at a party—with other people watching them. That way, he was less likely to succumb to her desire to be with him.
Zane now knew, more than the day he’d made the wager for her hand, that he wanted her. All he had to do was stay firm on those promises and she would be his. He’d made it two weeks and would make it the rest of the time. His worry was, could he changehermind about him before he made it to the last ball of the Season?
There was still so much to know about her. Why had she been dressed in the pink satin gown in Paris? Did she harbor deep, lasting feelings for her husband as people claimed or was she, knowingly or not, using the perception as a protective guard against giving her heart to anyone? He wanted to know what had made her decide she never wanted to marry again. He needed to know more about her past to find answers.
