Was that all it was for him, or was it just all he was willing to admit to Loretta?
“Don’t you think you’ll regret it someday if you don’t go back and see her at least once again? To see if what you felt for her when you left is still there.”
“No,” he said earnestly. “I think I’ll regret it if I let this chance with Lady Adele slip through my hands.”
Was it the clouds in the sky that darkened or Loretta’s spirit? “You know why the duke wants you to marry her, don’t you?”
“Yes. He made it clear he doesn’t want her to be subjected to any kind of payback against him for the secret admirer prank he pulled on some young ladies years ago. If she’s betrothed, there will be no reason for anyone to pursue her.”
“And you’re all right with that?”
Paxton’s smile returned. “Why wouldn’t I be? He wants to protect his sister. I don’t blame him. I agree with him. I understand a man wanting to protect his sister from someone who wants to hurt her.”
“Is that why you’re going to say you’ll marry her? You think it will be good for me?”
“Yes. That’s part of it. I should be the one taking care of you, not Uncle. But you know I can’t because our father had nothing to leave us. We are both totally dependent on the earl. I’ve no doubt he would cut off my allowance if I tried to take you away from Mammoth House.”
Loretta stiffened indignantly. “I don’t need you to support me. I’m fine at Mammoth House. I don’t even think about the fact that I live here anymore.” She fibbed without guilt.
“I’m not fine with you being trapped here like a nun in a cloister. You’re strong, and you are coping, but you deserve better. I thought, with time, Uncle would soften and let you go back to Switchingham or give you a place in London, but he hasn’t forgiven you for embarrassing him. If I had more income, I would no longer be under Uncle’s thumb and could take care of you myself. And yes, Lady Adele’s dowry will do that.”
“This isn’t about me,” she argued earnestly. “And shouldn’t be about me.”
“It’s about both of us, Loretta.”
“You know that living here now doesn’t bother me. I have never lied to you. You know it took me a long time to adjust to Mammoth House, to forgive Uncle for being so hard and unforgiving himself, but I have learned how to be at peace with myself.”
“No. You simply hide it well. I saw how happy you were to get away and go to Hawksthorn even for such a short time. So yes, I told the duke I want to marry Lady Adele. This is best for you, for me, and for Lady Adele. Loretta, it’s not that difficult. Surely you see that she’s lovely. She’s kind. We get along together so easily.”
“You could be describing me.”
“What’s wrong with adoring my wife as much as I adore my sister? Dash it all, Loretta, I could do a lot worse, but I don’t think I could do any better than Lady Adele.”
“Did you kiss her?” Loretta asked as soon as the words popped into her head.
“That’s rather personal.”
“Did you?”
“Yes,” he said folding his arms across his chest in arelaxed manner. “Not that I should admit that to you or anyone else, but since I have, I’ll add that it was really quite a nice experience for both of us.”
Nice?
When the duke had kissed Loretta, nice hadn’t even entered her mind. It was thrilling, exalting, beyond reasonable or comprehensible explanation. Hawk’s kiss had completely changed her.
“This burning desire and yearning ache for breathless kisses you talk about is really rather rare anyway, don’t you think?” Paxton asked.
“Is it?” Loretta asked, coming to terms with the fact she’d lost the battle. Paxton didn’t want to help her fight it, and neither did Lady Adele. Maybe Paxton was right. He—they had to want that all-consuming desire to be with the other person and it didn’t appear either of them did. “I didn’t think it was, but I guess I really don’t know.”
She just knew that’s how she felt about the Duke of Hawksthorn.
“It doesn’t matter. I know I will be good to Lady Adele. I don’t know about other men. It would be easy for someone to take advantage of her and I know I never will. She has a sweet nature, and she’s innocent and trusting in a lot of ways.”
“Her brother knows that, too,” Loretta admitted.
“That’s why I told the duke I will marry her. I meant it when I said I’d be perfect for her. Uncle and I will go to London in two weeks, finalize the contracts, and I’ll be prepared to marry as soon as the duke and Lady Adele want it to happen.” His eyes brightened. “And there’s something I’m going to tell Uncle. Do you want to know what it is?”
“Yes, of course,” she answered without any real enthusiasm. “You know I want to know everything.”
