MISS HONORA TRUTH’S WEEKLY SCANDAL SHEET
Chapter 20
A gentleman must always show a lady the proper respect in any situation that may arise.
APROPERGENTLEMAN’SGUIDETOWOOINGTHEPERFECTLADY
SIRVINCENTTYBALTVALENTINE
Hawk was in a hell of a mood.
And had been for the better part of a week. He didn’t like to lose whether he was boxing, fencing, betting on a horse race, or trying to win the hand of the lady he wanted to marry.
He sat before the fire in his book room, legs stretched out toward it, hoping the licking flames of heat would dry out the soles of his favorite boots while he drank his coffee and tried to clear his head of all the brandy he’d consumed while playing cards for most of the night. It had rained for three days straight, and every time he went out his boots soaked up more water from the drenched boardwalks and pavement. He’d come in so late last night they hadn’t had time to dry before he dressed again.
And he wasn’t of a mind to go upstairs and change.
A person’s honor was a tough thing to challenge. Be it man or woman. Hawk certainly didn’t want anyone meddling with his. He understood and respected the dedication it took to remain true to a code of principle and a vow.
He didn’t have to like that Loretta had made her vow. But he wasn’t in a position to do a lot of arguing with her about it. After the secret admirer letters became public knowledge and scandalized almost everyone in London, Hawk made a vow that he’d stay away from innocent young ladies.
That didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy them. Over the years, he’d paid attention to the new belles of the ball each Season. He did his part as an eligible duke and danced with them, enjoying their beauty and charms at dinner parties, afternoons of cards, and even an occasional ride in Hyde Park. He’d never touched one of them.
Until he met Loretta.
Hawk’s respect and admiration for Loretta, for her conviction to her vow, and for what she’d asked of him the last time he saw her were the only things that had kept him in London for the past week, and not where he wanted to be: sitting at Mammoth House trying to talk her into marrying him.
Looking down into the tepid pool of black liquid in his cup, Hawk wondered if the coffee was helping his mood or deteriorating it. Either way he intended to finish the damned stuff before going over the account books his solicitor dropped off yesterday. As long as he had coffee in the cup, he could put off work and continue to think about Loretta.
He hadn’t given up on making her his wife. He just hadn’t decided what the best course of action was to take. She was more than simply a lady of high principle. Her convictions ran deep, and she’d shown that she wouldn’t be easily swayed from what she believed she was honor bound to hold to.
Yet.
It had stung that she’d turned him down when he’d asked her to marry him. Didn’t she know that he’d never asked a lady to marry him? He’d never wanted to.
Until he’d met Loretta.
And he’d had all confidence that whenever he finally asked a lady to marry him, she wouldn’t say no. But Loretta had without blinking an eye. She had a keen sense of what was right. And marrying wasn’t right for her.
He might not have put any thought into it before he asked her, and it might not have been the most eloquent proposal, but that hadn’t made his question any less sincere.
The sexual tension between them at the time had been overwhelmingly pure, eager, and sublimely passionate. Just thinking about her now sent a heady warmth spinning through him, igniting a masculine response of desire. He wanted her.
It wasn’t the heat of the moment that had him professing he wanted to marry her. It was that he’d suddenly realized he loved her. He’d loved everything about her from the first day they met. From sitting down to dinner with her at Mammoth House and Hawksthorn, to arguing with her about the merits of an arranged marriage.
His primal attraction wasn’t all that drew him to her. He respected her strength to defend, to cope, and then to adjust when necessary. She wasn’t afraid to fight for what she believed was right. She was forgiving even when it wasn’t deserved, and was kind and loving to a street child. She was the kind of woman Hawk wanted to be the mother of his children.
Hawk wasn’t an ogre. He’d understood her concerns about a babe. Those fears were real and troubling. She was right to be cautious because of it. Nothing was foolproof except abstinence. That was another reason to admire her. It showed how strong she was.
There were many men in London who had bastard sons they could never legally call their own. Hawk had to admit he didn’t want that stigma for a son of his, either. It had to be a hard burden for a man to bear that shame when he did nothing to bring it upon himself. Hawk even understood her not wanting to cause her uncle more pain and disrespect his house again.
That was damned admirable of her, too. Especially considering the earl’s severe stance with her. What Hawk didn’t understand was her refusing to marry him because of the vow. He hadn’t realized how seriously she took it. He should have. She’d lived with the ramifications of it for almost three years now, and he knew they weren’t easy years. Somehow, he wanted to make her see that vows were broken all the time—whether or not they were said in the presence of a vicar in the church. Why did that matter to her?
Oh, hell, he thought and took another drink from the coffee that had gone from tepid to cold. He could sit here all morning thinking about how much he admired Loretta. About how much he wanted her in his life and in his home. Nothing changed the fact that he wanted to talk with her about whatever came to his mind. He wanted to laugh with her, and he even wanted to argue with her. It was invigorating to match wits with her bold assertions. He remembered her warm soft body pressed close to his. His lower body stirred.
A disgruntled laugh escaped past his lips. He wanted her in his bed, too. Snuggled close, loving her all night, and then waking with her by his side in the morning.
So no, he thought. He didn’t like to lose. He didn’t intend to lose. Whether she knew it or not, the battle for her wasn’t over. It was only just beginning. He was coming for her again, and again, and still again if he had to.
