“There,” she said, turning back to face Farley as she took a resting breath from the exertion of getting the heavy wooden chair in place. “Can you see the pathway? I know it’s not as good as being outside, but it’s better than not even being able to look outside.”
He leaned forward, shook his head, then lifted his eyes to her and said, “I can’t see a ’unter or the archer.”
“That’s because you are looking at the constellations of them—the pattern of the stars in the night sky. We’ll take a walk outside as soon as the weather gets better and I’ll explain more about it. I have a book with some drawings in it that will help you understand.” She hesitated and then asked, “Can you read?”
“Don’t need to,” he said defiantly. “Don’t want to. Don’t ’ave nothing to read.”
Loretta knew many people couldn’t read so that wasn’t unusual, and suddenly she wondered if Arnold could. She would ask Mr. Huddleston if he knew whether his helper could read. If not, maybe she could teach them both to read and write their names, too. Liking that idea, she smiled to herself. It would certainly give her more to occupy her time, especially when the days were either too cold or too rainy to take a stroll around the grounds and through the garden.
“Well, we don’t need to talk about reading today,” she answered, feeling heartened by his honest response and her thoughts to rectify that situation. Loretta walked over to the pianoforte and sat down. She immediately started playing a slow, melodic score she knew from memory. It felt good to hear music again. She’d missed it. But she could only concentrate on the tune for so long. While her fingers pressed and moved across the keys, her thoughts drifted to the duke and her conversations with him.
It wasn’t that she hadn’t thought about their discussions,their kisses. She had. Many times. She couldn’t seem to stop herself from thinking about him and the time he made the bold statement that he was in a battle with her forher.
He had stunned her with those words, more so maybe than even by his ardent kisses. Was it because she’d let him be so intimate with her that he now wanted more from her? And God help her, she’d wanted more from him, too. But she couldn’t, wouldn’t allow it. The risks were too great.
It was no wonder the Duke of Hawksthorn was called a rake. An apt name for such an alluring man.
At night, it was becoming common for her to lie in her bed, long after she should have been asleep, and think about the duke. About his kisses. About his most recent proclamation: There would be more kisses. Sometimes it soothed her to remember his presence in her home, to think about how wonderful it had felt being in his arms. And more times than she could count, she’d had to chastise herself when she’d found herself wondering if she wanted him to win the battle they were waging.
Still, at other times she’d wonder if the duke had talked to her uncle about her going to Hawksthorn or if the duke had completely forgotten about her once he’d left. It had been well over a week since he’d been at Mammoth House, and still there was no word. And he was an admitted rake. Perhaps he’d only hoped to seduce her into his bed and when that hadn’t happened, he’d simply brushed her from his mind.
One thing was sure: She didn’t doubt the duke’s persuasive powers if he had spoken to the earl. They had been used on her and they were strong. But neither did she doubt her uncle’s harshness. She knew his strength as well. And would it be best for her if the duke won or the earl?
She believed Paxton needed her to keep him strong in his conviction that he wouldn’t accept the duke’s offer ifhe didn’t desire with all his heart a match with Lady Adele. And while it would be like making a trip to heaven to get away from Mammoth House for a time, would it also be her downfall? She desired the duke and wondered if she could resist him if he chose to pursue her again.
Lost in her thoughts, it took Loretta a moment or two to realize she was hearing a pounding knock at the back door. For an instant her stomach jumped. She thought it might be her uncle and that he’d come to talk to her about a visit to Hawksthorn, but then she smiled at that foolish notion and kept playing.
Her uncle would never arrive at the back door of any home and most assuredly not his own. It must be one of Mr. Huddleston’s relatives. They would occasionally hunt pheasant or some type of fowl in the area and offer to share some of whatever they’d shot for the evening meal. The rumble of voices didn’t last long and Loretta soon went back to thinking about the duke until she noticed Paxton standing in the doorway. Smiling as usual.
He motioned for her to come join him.
She looked over her shoulder at Farley. His eyes were closed and his chin had fallen to his chest. The piano music had put him to sleep. She played another chord or two and then quietly rose and walked over to greet Paxton.
“How’s Farley doing?” her brother asked in a whispered tone as they walked down the corridor.
“The cough is still with him. It worries me that it’s still so deep in his chest.”
“Perhaps in another few days it will be gone, because it looks as if he’s making progress. He’s out of bed.”
“Yes, he’s eating well and regaining strength.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” Paxton pulled a hand from behind his back and held up two notes. “Look what I have from our uncle. Letters. One for you and one for me.”
Loretta’s stomach felt as if it fell to her feet. “Did the duke speak to him? Did he give in to the duke’s wishes? Will I be going to Hawksthorn with you? What did he say?”
Paxton chuckled. “So many questions, and I don’t know the answer to any of them.”
“Why not?” she queried.
“I haven’t opened my note and you haven’t opened yours. They just arrived.” He threw his hands out wide and laughed. “I thought it would be better if we did it together. Ladies first.” He handed her one of the letters.
Now her stomach felt as if it were tumbling over and over inside her. How like Paxton to be so carefree and make a game of this when she was full of apprehension. Would she be allowed to go or wouldn’t she? Did she want to go or didn’t she?
“No, you go first,” she said anxiously, utterly dithering about her feelings on this.
“All right, my dear sister. To please you, I will. Though it is not a gentlemanly thing to do.”
Loretta held herself stiffly while Paxton opened the letter and read it. Silently. Oh, heaven’s gate! All her earlier muddled thoughts be damned. Yes, she wanted to go to Hawksthorn. Of course she wanted to see the duke again and to know if her heart would still feel like it was skipping a beat every time she looked at him. But would she be allowed?
