He plops Whiskey between us and tangles his legs with mine, reaching over to touch my face.
“I’d rather you were in my bed every night,” he says. “If we’re being honest.”
“Well if we’re being honest, I like it here. So maybe I’ll keep crashing for a few days. I think I’m going to need a new apartment, anyhow.”
“I know ye haven’t had an easy life, Scarlett,” Rory says. “And I know that ye have your reasons not to trust anyone. But there’s something I want to say.”
I fall into his neck and breathe him in, relaxing into his body. There are moments like this, when his strength is so tangible to me, so potent, nothing else can touch me. I’ve never leaned on anyone this way. It’s easy to get lost in these moments. To forget why I was so hell bent on destroying my only real ally.
Rory is strong, both mentally and physically. But he has one fatal flaw.
And that’s caring for me.
“I told ye once before that I didn’t want to play games with you,” he says. “That I was done with it. With you. I was wrong, Scarlett. Because if there’s one thing I need ye to know, it’s this. I’m not ever going to give up on you. I’m not ever going to be like the people who walked out of your life and hurt you. I’m in your corner, always. And I will go to battle for ye every single day for the rest of my life, so long as I have you by my side.”
I don’t know where any of this is coming from. But it makes me paranoid. Something has changed, and I need to know what it is.
“I’m going for broke here,” he says. “I’m just going to lay it out for you, baby doll. I want to do everything with you, Scarlett. I want to fuck shit up. I want to get ye in a family way. I want my last name to be your last name. And I’m willing to fight for those things. For as long as it takes. So you can push me away, but I’m not going anywhere. And I need ye to know that.”
Christ.
This is it. This is how I’m going to die.
I’m having a heart attack. I can’t breathe and I’m dizzy and all I can focus on are the words he just seared into my brain. Babies and marriage and things that will never happen.
I sit up and clutch my chest.
“I told you to stay away from me,” I yell at him. “You should have listened. I can’t give you those things, Rory.”
He’s quiet, but his hand reaches out for mine. Our fingers tangle together and that line inside of me is going berserk.
I don’t know how this happened.
I was supposed to be the one to fuck him up.
But he’s got me all fucked up instead.
I’ll never admit it.
I’ll never admit that he’s done this to me.
And I need something to grasp onto. Something to make me feel like my old self.
“You got my files,” I accuse him. “Didn’t you?”
Dead silence.
His fingers stiffen around mine, and I have my answer.
“I had no choice,” he says. “I needed to know what I was dealing with. I need to protect you.”
“Did you like what you found?” I ask. “Do you feel vindicated now? Because I’m just so goddamn helpless?”
“I saw your mother,” he blurts.
That’s it. There goes the flat line. Back to where it belongs.
“Fuck. I don’t know why I did it, Scarlett. I only want to take care of you.”
