Chapter 20
Ji Yue’s feet ached, her back had tightened into a knot of anxiety, and her head felt like it weighed a ton. She stood in the back of beyond in the Festival Garden, waiting with all the other virgins for the Emperor to wander by and make his selection. If only she could move a little, wander the gardens and ease the aches in her body, but she was too terrified to move.
She was being ridiculous, she knew. Only an idiot would believe that the Emperor would miss her just because she took a step or two in a different direction. But she had been told to stand here, that the Emperor would wander through eventually, and so here she stood. At least she had a position where she could see some of the path. Li Fei fidgeted a little ahead and around a curve in the path. They both had been placed here–no doubt by the Dowager Consort–in the furthest reaches of the garden. The shrew probably hoped that the Emperor would select his primary harem long before he made it to the back garden.
Fortunately, Ji Yue had Bo Tao’s assurance that the Emperor would find her and that he planned on selecting her as Empress. She fretted because she didn’t know what she would tell the Emperor when he finally did wander back here to talk. She held her two combs in her hands, alternately linking them together and snapping them apart. If she wasn’t careful, she’dbreak the delicate mechanism.
Linked combs meant her heart was already given to someone else, to Bo Tao. Separate combs said she wanted desperately for the Emperor to select her. A fairly simple choice, really: become an Empress or a woman on the run with a disgraced husband.
But with that clear a choice, she didn’t know what to do. A night’s tormented sleep had shown her just how much she loved Bo Tao. She longed to see his face, to touch his cheek, to feel his arms tenderly tuck her close to his side. She loved everything about him and would willingly give her life if it somehow saved him.
Unfortunately, the only way she could “save” him would be tonotmarry him. Without her, he still had a political career. Even if the Emperor forgave Bo Tao for seducing an Imperial Virgin, he was not likely to reward such behavior. He certainly wouldn’t want Bo Tao around. But if Ji Yue chose the Emperor, then Bo Tao would get the political position of his choice. With that, he could marry, have children, and still live the life he was born to lead.
Meanwhile, she had been raised from birth to be a political wife. She had watched her mother guide her father’s career. A smart woman could do much even from behind the women’s screen. Ji Yue could be an enormous asset to any man, but the Emperor himself? That was the kind of influence that was her mother’s dream. Up until a few days ago, that had been her own dream as well. But then Bo Tao had slipped into her palanquin and everything had changed.
She stared at the linked combs in her hands and forced herself to break them apart. Every shred of reason she possessed screamed that she should become the Empress. The best way to help the man she loved was to give him up. The best thing for her family was to become Empress. And the best wayfor her to do the work she wanted–to help a great husband in a political career–would be to humbly accept her role as Empress of China. She had to marry the Emperor. Shewantedto marry the Emperor.
Except, of course, she did not.
She wanted Bo Tao. And the next time she looked down at her hands, the combs were once again linked. No matter what logic said, clearly her heart wanted Bo Tao.
She had just forced herself to separate the combs–again–when she heard a rustle ahead on the path. Was it the Emperor? Or were the virgins getting tired and moving around? It was so hard to see! Then she heard voices. A man’s voice, but it could be a eunuch. A female giggle–definitely a nervous virgin’s–and then more rustling. The anxiety was killing her!
She heard a voice. The Dowager Consort! “There’s nothing interesting back there,” she said, probably to her son. “The other girls are up here.”
The pronouncement was seconded by the Head Eunuch. Then there was much bustling and movement while Ji Yue looked down in defeat. It didn’t matter if she linked or unlinked her combs. The Emperor would never be given the chance to wander back here. His mother was head of the women in the Forbidden City and–
“You must be Chen Ji Yue.”
Ji Yue started, looking up in shock as the Emperor sauntered down the path. She’d thought...well, it didn’t matter what she thought, since he was here now! She sunk low, starting her kowtow, but he reached out and stopped her.
“Yes, yes, but let me see your face,” he said. He physically pulled her upright, scanning her face as if trying to place her in his memory. Meanwhile, she looked from his hand on her arm, up his impressive imperial tunic, and finally to his rather ordinary face. Was this man to be her husband? This mantrailed by his mother and a score of eunuchs? This man who didnotgive her shivers or make her heart lurch in her chest? And would she always, always compare him to Bo Tao?
The Emperor ceased studying her face, then looked down at the combs in her hand. Unfortunately, she had been in the process of linking them. Or unlinking them. She didn’t even remember now! They were half intertwined and was no clear message at all.
“You seem to have dropped your combs, Chen Ji Yue.”
Had he emphasized two combs? Not one?
“Yes,” she murmured beginning to hold them up for his inspection.Separate them! Become the Empress!she ordered her hands. She began to do it, but then paused, finding a boldness mostly from irritation. Second guessing herself was getting her no where. She needed to ask exactly what she wanted to know. So she did.
“Do you remember me, Emperor?”
He smiled in a vague way. “Of course, of course. Your beauty makes an impression.”
She arched her brows at him. “That and what I said at the celebration.”
He frowned and then his expression abruptly cleared as memory sparked. “Oh yes. About peasants and servants. That impressed Bo Tao.” But obviously not the Emperor. Then his gaze wandered across the gardens to the girls stretching and maneuvering around corners to catch his eye. “I suppose whatever it takes to distinguish yourself from the others.” He shrugged. “You spoke about servants, so you must know how to handle them. A valuable asset in an Empress.”
He reached for her comb to take the dragon piece from her. This was the moment. If she let him take the dragon piece from her, then she would become an Empress and spend her life...doing what? Managing his servants. He had noappreciation of the skills she brought to his side. He would never allow her to hide in the shadows of the women’s screen to take notes. Neither would he bring his cares to her at night to help him sort through one difficult problem or another.
The Emperor was a man who relied not on his wives, but on his assistants. On men like Bo Tao who would recommend policy and select his wives. It would be a near impossible task to get him to see her as anything but a baby-making vessel. And what a miserable life that would be!
She couldn’t do it.
She couldn’t be that kind of woman to him. So with tears of regret in her eyes, she pulled the combs away from the Emperor. “I am so clumsy with this,” she said as she quickly linked them together. “They are supposed to be one comb, and they go–”
“No, Chen Ji Yue,” he interrupted, his expression hard. “No, they are two combs, and I believe this one is mine.”
