She couldn’t disagree.
“What do you think of Lord Heath?”
Aaron’s cousin? “The one who manages the food and drink at Carlton House?”
“Aye. I’ve met with him twice now about Liam’s whisky. He seems like a good man. You met him at the theater two nights ago.”
She remembered a large man with a warm smile. There was a sadness in his eyes that struck her as odd, especially given his general pleasant demeanor. She found out from the countess that he had lost his wife recently to childbirth fever, and now he was a widower with two small children.
“He’s too sad. I’ve never been able to cheer a man up. That’s the only reason you want me. It’s because I cannot make you unhappy no matter how much I scowl.”
He chuckled. “That is the God’s honest truth,” he said, obviously not realizing he’d just said that was the only reason he wanted her. “But I wasn’t thinking for you. Sadie would be a good match for him, I think.”
“Sadie? Are you daft? She’s raised her two brothers on her own and took care of that shrew of a mother. Now that she’s free, you think she wants a man with two children?”
Connall grunted. “I think they suit one another. He’s got love in his heart, and she needs it.”
“He’s got children in his home, and she doesn’t need that.”
He nodded slowly, clearly not convinced. It didn’t matter. Sadie would pick who she wanted and not either of them.
They continued to talk for a long time. They discussed the people they had met, laughing when a tale became too ridiculous. Then he got her speaking about home and what she missed, which was very little.
“Not a thing,” she declared. “Except for the smell of the heather and the first snowflakes on my cheeks.”
“Naught else?”
She smiled remembering the way the children tried to steal treats from the kitchen as if the cook and all the maids were blind. She missed the sound of a stream swollen with snowmelt, and the hot taste of cider heated over a fire and spiced with whisky.
But mostly she missed having a place in Scotland. As the MacCleal chatelaine, she’d had a purpose and structure to her days. Here in London, she had yet to find her purpose. Indeed, she wouldn’t find one until she had a husband to give her a role.
“You’re not a restful soul, Mairi,” Connall said. “You’ll drive the Sassenach crazy with finding things for you to do.”
“There’s work in every home. It just depends—”
“On the man and the home.”
He fell silent then, but she understood his thoughts nonetheless. There was work for her to do in his castle. A place for her in his bed, too. But he held himself back, and for that she was grateful. Especially since she’d thought enough for one night. Felt more than enough, too. It was time for sleep, and her yawn made that clear to both of them.
“I must go to my bed,” he said. “Or I’ll be found here in the morning.”
“Aye, you must,” she agreed. Damn it, she was reluctant to move. So much so that he remained longer than was appropriate. Indeed, she felt his breath lengthening beneath her cheek and she poked him in the ribs.
“Don’t fall asleep! We’ll be caught for sure.”
“Huh? Oh.” Then he stretched against her, letting her feel every glorious muscle in his body and his lengthening cock. “Are you sure?”
“Aye,” she said, forcing herself to move away. “I am.”
He pushed himself upright then rolled out of her bed. But lest she think he had given up completely, he paused when he was directly above her. She was on her back then and still naked. How easy it would be to wrap her arms around him and draw him down. She could spread her legs and cradle his hips with her own. And so wet was she, he could possess her with a single thrust.
But she couldn’t do that yet. Not if it meant she’d be bound to him forever. She didn’t even know why, but she would not say yes, yet. So she lay still beneath him while he supported himself on arms and knees without touching her.
“Mairi,” he said, his voice a low growl of hunger.
“Nay, Connall. I told you so.”
“I know.”
Then he kissed her. He didn’t press his body down upon her but bent his arms enough to press mouth to mouth with her. He took his time with the kiss, seducing her with lips and tongue until she was panting with need.
And then he sprang off the bed like a young cougar leaping onto a rock.
“Dream of me,” he whispered. Then he grabbed his kilt and walked naked straight out of her bedroom.
She waited until the door shut silently behind him to answer. “As if I have done aught but that every night since you were seventeen.”
