She nodded, then made a quick decision. “I will go with you,” she said as she pushed to her feet.
“What? No. You’re safe here. Well protected—”
“I need to see it for myself, Lucas. Mr. Fisher was a part of my home for three years. I need to know why he would do such a thing.” It was the truth, but it was also a lie. She certainly wanted to speak with her footman, but mostly she wanted to stay with Lucas. It was only with Lucas that she allowed herself to feel, and she was reluctant to give that up even to the point of inventing excuses so she could remain at his side.
“Diana, this is not a place a gently reared woman should go.”
“I am never safer than I am beside you.” Then she resorted to doing something she swore only weak women did. She softened her expression and used every feminine wile she had. “Please,” she begged. “I swear I won’t interfere and…” She blinked tearful eyes at him. “I want to be with you.”
He exhaled in a kind of growl. “I am a weak man around you.”
She brightened, seeing that she’d won. “Really? I’ve found you incredibly, almost frustratingly strong.”
He shot her a heavy look. “Flattery is a cheap trick.”
She laughed. “It is the simple truth,” she said. “I shall be but a moment.”
“Bring a cloak,” he said. “One that covers your face.”
Five minutes later, they were in a hackney that smelled of boiled onions. Not a pleasant odor, but she overcame it by pressing close to Lucas’s side and turning her nose toward him. He had bathed recently, so he smelled clean, though she could still detect his own personal scent. It never failed to capture her attention, and she smiled as she inhaled deeply.
He set her firmly away from him.
“Lucas?”
“This is beneath you, Diana.”
She jolted, her tone stiff. “What are you talking about?”
“You cannot toy with me like this. I would swive you right now, right here if I could.”
A shiver swept down her spine as she was unexpectedly titillated by the thought. “I—”
“But you know my conditions.”
She blew out a breath. “It is too soon for me to give up my freedom again. Surely you understand that.”
“Of course, I understand it. But I want a wife, not a passing fancy.”
How like a man to be so black and white. “It is too soon for me—”
“All I ask for is a promise that you will be mine. We won’t have the banns read right away. We can wait for that, but I have been too long in limbo as I wait for my life to begin.” He shrugged. “I see that now, thanks to you. But I’m ready now to be the man I was meant to be.”
She smiled. “That’s wonderful, Lucas, but I hardly think I had anything to do with it.”
He pressed his lips to her forehead. “Every day I watch you stand your ground, fight for what you believe in, and hold firm, despite being a woman. It shames me that I have done so little since—”
“Returning from war? Healing from near mortal wounds? You have men who still follow you long after the war is done. Believe me, I know how hard it is to get anyone to follow, and you do it effortlessly.”
He was silent as his cheek rubbed across the top of her head. She felt every catch of his evening beard and relished his closeness. Nothing could ever hurt her while he held her so close.
“I want a wife and a family, Diana. It will not be easy for me to be an earl with all the pomp and circumstance that it entails. But I could do it with you.” He pulled her fingers to his lips. “Swear you’ll be mine eventually, Diana. I know you will keep your promise.”
She would, which is why she couldn’t say yes. Not yet. Not when she had yet to take a walk outside as a free, independent woman. When she hadn’t gone shopping without wondering if Oscar would scold her for her purchase. She hadn’t even danced once at a party without worrying over who cared for Oscar in her absence.
“Not yet,” she whispered. “I can’t.”
He accepted that with a grim nod. Then before she could say more, the carriage came to a halt. He pulled the hood of her cloak down over her face, then said in a harsh whisper. “Stay right behind me. And don’t say a word until I tell you it’s safe.”
