“Of course, you are,” he said. “In time.” When the danger was past. When he could approach her with the reverence she deserved instead of the pounding lust that beat in him now.
She looked at him, her expression slowly shifting to disappointment. And how that cut at him. He couldn’t fail her again.
“Do you know what I did today?” she asked.
“After Lord and Lady Beddoe left?”
“Yes.”
“You spent the day inside resting.”
“Resting?” she scoffed. “You think I went to my bed and slept in pristine beauty? Am I a hothouse flower to you?”
He blinked. “You were inside. You were safe—”
“I was with the estate steward. We have been corresponding for years now, but there is so much more to be done face to face. Improvements to the tenant farms. A school for the children. Sheep and pigs and crops. That is what we discussed.”
“You and Nathan would get along famously.”
Her lips quirked. “Yes, I should very much like to talk with him.”
He nodded. He could arrange it once they were back in England.
“I spent my day as a man does, seeing to the needs of my tenants.” She looked to the ceiling. “Why shouldn’t I spend my evenings as a man does as well? Enjoying whatever pleasures are at hand.”
“Enough,” His voice became harsh as he took control of the situation. She’d had her say. Now it was his turn to bring her back to sanity. “You are speaking out of grief and guilt.”
“Am I?” she challenged.
“Of course, you are. It has been two weeks since your husband passed. You just buried him.”
“It has been years, Lucas. Oscar took to his bedyears ago.”Her voice throbbed with those words. “We knew he was dying. And though there were good days, he was never a husband to me after that. More like a fond uncle. And now, finally, I am free.”
“You want everything. Every experience, every indulgence, things you have been denied up until now.”
“Yes!”
He arched a brow. “Have a care, Diana. Not every experience is pleasurable. And too much—”
“Do not lecture me. I am done with being told what I can and cannot do.”
He didn’t intend to lecture her. But he certainly wasn’t going to stand around and allow her to be self-destructive. “Do you know what you want to do first?” And with whom? That was the main question, but he didn’t voice it.
Her chin lifted. “You know I do.” And when he didn’t respond, she rolled her eyes. “I told you I was thinking of you.”
He took a breath, his mind running quickly through the risks and dangers. He had seen no danger, heard no hint of betrayal, nothing untoward. He or his men checked her food, watched her drink, and stood guard. She was as safe as it was possible to be. And she would be that much safer if he were in the room, though every man was vulnerable when absorbed in a beautiful woman.
Then he looked at Diana. He saw the need in her for an experience—any experience—that was for her and her alone. Her pleasure, her entertainment, her delight.
He took a breath. Was he really going to do this? Apparently so, because he spoke softly after making sure her door was locked.
“Have you ever experienced a woman’s quickening?”
She frowned and shook her head. “I’m not sure what that is.”
“You would know.”
Her brows lifted in interest.
