She wasn’t sure she believed it. She had spent too much time demanding respect for her to believe it was there even when she faltered. But Lucas clearly believed it. And when she looked to Simpson, he gave her a firm nod.
“You are the head of this household, my lady. There is no other.”
Except for the one who had poisoned her husband. Except when Penelope reminisced about the times Simpson had indulged her as a child, and he caved to her every whim. Except for—
“Have faith in them, Diana.”
She looked into Lucas’s eyes, and the words came out—not exactly easy, but she voiced them, nonetheless. “I will leave it your hands,” she said. She looked down at her fingers. “For now. Until I can catch my breath.”
Lucas nodded, then turned to Simpson. “You understand what’s to be done? For the first time in her life, the countess is to protect her daughter. She is to see that no one disturbs her ladyship.” Then Lucas straightened. “I will be down in a moment to lend my hand.”
“Of course, my lord.”
Diana’s head snapped up, and she saw Lucas jerk in reaction as well. Everyone in this household called him Mr. Lucifer. But he had revealed himself, and Simpson had been in the room. So, of course, the staff now knew his true identity.
“There’s no need to call me by anything new—” Lucas began, but Diana interrupted him.
“The news is out. You are Lord Chellam, and it is foolishness to try and hide that.”
Lucas exhaled. “I’m not trying to hide it. At least not anymore. I didn’t want my sins to land now, as well.”
She didn’t speak. She didn’t need to. They both knew that there was no avoiding any of what was to come. And suddenly, after that flash flood of anger, now she just felt tired. Not just weary in body, but exhausted from emotions. From relaxing her guard for one night, only to have her entire life destroyed around her. It crippled her.
“Enough,” Lucas said sharply. “Simpson, I’ll be downstairs in a moment. My lady, I insist that you rest.” And so saying, he scooped her up off her chair.
She gasped in surprise but did not object. Now of all times, it felt too wonderful to settle into a man’s strong arms as he took care of her. She was not proud of this weakness. She needed to be strong. But for this moment, she allowed herself to rest in his arms.
“It will be done, my lord,” Simpson said as he bowed himself out of the room. Diana clearly heard him shut the door before his footsteps thunked down the hallway.
Meanwhile, Lucas was settling her gently on her bed. She didn’t choose her next action. Like so much of the last twenty-four hours, her body acted without consulting her mind. As he set her on the pillow, she wrapped her arms around his neck. She had no thought as to why she did it, except that she didn’t want to lose this moment. When he made to withdraw, she pulled him tighter.
“I can’t, Diana,” he said. “I want to. God, how I want to, but this is not the time. You’ll hate me afterward.”
“Never,” she whispered. Even when he had failed to save her from her wedding, she had never hated him.
He dropped his forehead to hers. “How quickly you forget. You said you hated me not ten minutes ago.”
“I lied.”
“I know.” He gently untangled her hands from his neck and drew back. “When this is over,” he said. “When you are safe, then we shall talk again. I have more to offer you now. Even without any money from the title or your estates, I could support us. Not like this, of course. Not with servants tripping over themselves to serve you. But I could keep you well, my lady. And we might be happy.”
What a pretty picture he painted. Her settled comfortably in a bed while he slew all her dragons. Right then, she wanted it as she wanted her next breath, though she knew the need wouldn’t last.
He nodded as if he expected as much, though she saw a flash of something in his eyes. Disappointment? Whatever it was, he quickly hid it.
“We don’t have to speak of this now,” he said. Then he straightened up. “I’ll send your maid—”
“No,” she said softly. “If you will not remain, I will rest alone.”
He nodded. “Simpson and I will guard the stairs, and your windows are locked. Not a soul will disturb your rest, my lady.” Then he touched her face. A soft caress down her cheek until his thumb rolled across her lips.
She felt the tingle of his touch and a desperate yearning inside for more. For him. For everything he offered her.
She held her breath again, relishing the sensations even as she kept all her thoughts inside her. This was not the time for her to speak. She was much too likely to say something rash. Then he straightened off her bed, bowed to her as the courtliest knight of old, and left her alone in a suddenly cold room.
Chapter Sixteen
When he’d beena soldier, everything he did had a purpose. The cleanliness of his body and uniform kept him from disease. Marching kept him fit, developed unity, and had a tradition as old as England. Even sleep allowed him to trust the men who proved over and over again that they had his back just as he had theirs. And his rank instantly gave him a measure of authority that allowed him to serve England and the men who trusted him.
