Once I’d given myself a thorough onceover, I decided that the outfit would do. Pencil skirt. Blazer. White button-down. I looked much better than I felt, so I headed over to my dresser and swiped up a pair of earrings.
The week I’d spent at Miranda’s cottage, mostly alone, had felt like both a lifetime and no time at all. Since she had responsibilities and a life outside of babysitting an emotionally unstable friend, she’d come back to Chicago after the weekend, but I’d stayed there.
I’d spent most of my time sitting on the little wraparound porch, getting exceptionally tripped up by my own thoughts. It turned out that the cottage wasnota place where I should’vebeen left unattended. There were no distractions in that town. No excuses to avoid myself.
All I’d done, for five days straight, was think. At one point, I’d even convinced myself that I’d made the right decision. Part of me still thought that I had.
As I slid the little golden hoops into my ears, I thought about that day Jesse had helped me find one on the floor and tears rushed to the backs of my eyes. I blinked them away, but realized my glasses were going to be better than contacts for the time being.
After everything I’d gone through with Thomas, it had been about time to choose myself and that was what I’d done. It’d been a proud, mature moment, but it’d only lasted for about five minutes.
Shortly after, I’d realized the problem with that reasoning was that somehow, some way, Jesse had very much become a part of me. I couldn’t choose myself and walk away from him at the same time.
Those two things were mutually destructive. Unfortunately, by the time I’d realized that, I’d already gone and done it, hadn’t I? I’d already walked away and Jesse had already stopped calling.
I slid my glasses on and went over to my bed, sitting down on the edge to pull on my shoes, but no matter how hard I tried, he was still front and center in my mind. It was odd, considering how long it’d been since I’d last heard his voice.
Although I’d wanted to many times, especially now that I was thinking rationally again, I hadn’t called him. I missed him something awful, but Ihadto set that aside for today. Today was about work, structured, predictable, and full of problems I could actually solve.
Finally dressed and ready, I stood up and grabbed my bag. Apologizing to Jesse would have to wait. At least until I figured out what to actually say.
Jesse had a duty to his family and their name. Generations of expectations and traditions were on his shoulders now. I’d known that from the beginning. I’d known that he was doing it for them and that I was only supposed to be a pawn, but I’d stopped pretending anyway.
I’d let it become real and I hated that. I hated that I was falling in love with him. That stupid, annoying man. A man I couldn’t have because his loyalty would always lie with his family—as it should.
Which was why I hated even more that I knew he felt the same way. Because there was no universe in which we could be together. No matter how we felt about each other.
If only… no. Don’t go there, Jacque. The Westwoods are never going to change.
By the time I dropped into my desk chair with a quiet groan, I was genuinely wondering how many times I could go around the same things over and over in my head before I would actually go mad. I pressed my palms to my eyes and muttered out loud, hoping that might break me out of the spiral. “Get it together. You are a rational, highly educated adult. Act like one.”
When I looked up again, I finally switched on my computer and dragged my attention to the stack of files waiting for me.Work. We’re focusing on work today.
It took a few more minutes before I got myself organized, but once I started, I got back into the swing of things with practiced ease. It was almost a relief, knowing that whatever else might’ve changed in my life, this never would. I genuinely loved the law and?—
A knock at my office door cut me off mid-thought. I barely even looked up, already reaching for the next file. “Come in.”
I heard the door creak open, expecting to see Miranda or one of the other girls when I finally lifted my gaze away from the computer. Instead, Jane Westwood was standing there, a soft smile on her face as she hovered in the doorway.
For a full second, I just gawked at her, but then panic hit and I sat up straighter. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry. Do we have a meeting scheduled for today? I didn’t see anything on my calendar, but I’ve been away for a few days. I’m still playing catchup”
“No. No, don’t worry.” She waved a hand and stepped inside, still smiling as she turned to shut the door behind her. “You didn’t miss anything. I’m here on personal business.”
“Wyatt’s inheritance?”
She chuckled, coming over to lower herself gracefully into the chair across from mine. “No, but I understand why you might be confused. Around here, my personal business is your actual business, I suppose, but no. I came to talk to you about what’s going on between you, Jesse, and the family.”
Oh. Right.
Trying my best to gather whatever professionalism I had left, I leaned back in my chair and trained my attention on her, folding my hands together in my lap so she wouldn’t see the slight tremor in them.
“Of course. What can I help you with?”
Jane just looked at me for a moment, her expression still soft and open rather than that sharp, businesslike mask she usually wore when she came here. “I wanted to apologize.”
My mouth popped open and my heart started pounding. “Why?”
“For that scene at the house,” she clarified. “There was a bit of a misunderstanding.”
