More than he thought.
After taking a slow but long sip of his drink, careful curiosity edged onto his features. “How are you going to get her back, Jesse?”
I let out a bark of dry laughter. For the first time in my life, I’d found something I actually wanted—someone—and I’d managed to let her slip right through my fingers. “That’s a great question, but I don’t really have an answer. She’s done with me, man. Honestly, I can’t even blame her.”
Zach was quiet for a second. “That’s not good enough. IwishI’d fought harder.”
I looked up, but his gaze had gone distant again, somewhere far away from this apartment. “What are you talking about?”
“You heard me,” he said. “Back then when it all went down. I just let it happen. I thought it was out of my hands and that’s a regret I’llalwayshave to live with. It doesn’t have to be the same for you. You don’t want this, man. Take my word for it.”
Suddenly, I could see it. Hell, I couldfeelit. That kind of regret didn’t go away or soften with time. It just sat there, waiting for moments like this to remind us exactly what we’d lost.
Fuck no. Idon’twant that. I don’t want to wake up ten years from now and wonder what would’ve happened if I’d just tried harder.
I pushed off the counter, my drink instantly forgotten as I felt something shift deep inside me. The jury was still out about whether it was clarity or insanity, but he’d asked me what I was going to do, and a minute ago, I hadn’t had a plan. Now, I wasn’t so sure.
“Are you busy today?” I asked.
Zach blinked rapidly. “What?”
“Are you busy?” I repeated, grabbing my phone off the counter and already backing toward the hallway. “I just need to grab a shower. Obviously. But after that, are you busy?”
“Uh, no?” He frowned, clearly confused. “Why?”
I glanced back at him, a slow grin tugging at my mouth for the first time in days. “Awesome. I need a favor.”
His eyes narrowed slightly. “That sounds dangerous.”
“It usually is, but this is going to be fun.”
“Foryoumaybe,” he muttered.
I pumped my eyebrows at him. “Definitely for me.”
A second after I’d spun to head down the hall, I heard his footsteps behind me. “Jesse, what are you doing?”
“I’m not letting her walk away,” I said. “Not without a fight or at least trying.”
Zach grinned. “You’re serious.”
“Dead serious.”
We walked into my bedroom practically at the same time, but while I headed for the en-suite, he dropped down on my bed, kicking his feet up and resting against the headboard. “Okay, then. What do you need?”
“Do you know anyone who’s down for whatever without asking too many questions?”
Zach’s eyebrows shot up. “That’s oddly specific, while simultaneously vague as hell.”
“Work with me here.”
He frowned, thinking it over for a beat before he snapped his fingers. “Colin Thayer.”
I pulled the disgusting sweater over my head and dropped it on the floor. I was probably going to have to burn it since I doubted washing it would work, but I wasn’t worried about that right now. Instead, I paused in the bathroom doorway to lookback at him. “Perfect. Call him. Ask if he’d like to go on a little trip with us.”
His eyes narrowed again, watching me carefully as I strode into the bathroom and turned on the faucet in the shower. “Why?”
I looked down at my phone and pulled up what I needed, finally giving the restless energy inside someplace useful to go. Once I’d sent it that direction, I went back to the door, winking at him before I started shutting it.
