“Yes, sir.”
I exhaled a harsh breath, not really wanting to think about the way we’d parted. Because if I did, I wasn’t entirely sure I wouldn’t go after her and that would only make things worse.
Even so, by the time I got to the office, I felt like the biggest idiot alive.Not only did I kiss my fake girlfriend, but now I’m obsessing about it. Stunning.
Nate and Zach were waiting for me when I walked in just after midnight on a Sunday morning, running on no sleep and too many thoughts I didn’t want to have. Since this was a major acquisition, they were both wide awake and grinning instead of asleep in their beds.
Zach took one look at me and mimed breaking into applause. “That was well done, Jesse. Seriously. In record time, too. Even Will couldn’t have done a better job.”
He grabbed the contract when I held it out toward him. Then he disappeared to start the gears in motion. I envied him a little right now, for how this was just a normal night when a big deal was coming in. Meanwhile, I was a fucking wreck.
Nate looked at me like he saw the turmoil inside me. After Zach left, he stayed exactly where he was, perched on the edge of his desk, just watching me like he knew something was going on.
“Are you okay?” he asked finally. “Because I’ll be honest, you don’t look great.”
I shrugged. “It’s midnight. We all look like shit.”
Was I okay? No. I hated myself right now. I was freaked out, still a little bit turned on, and so fucking confused about the fact that I couldn’t seem to just let the kiss go.
“I’m fine,” I added, feeling like he still needed convincing.
“No, you’re not.” He followed me with his eyes when I strode to the bar cart in the corner and poured myself a stiff drink. “Did something happen in Hawaii?”
I sighed. Objectively, Nate was usually the worst possible person to talk to about something like this, which made him thebest person to talk to today. He was the most levelheaded person in our family, never spiraling or overreacting.
On a good day, he was emotionally lacking. On his worst? He was a fucking robot.
All of which made him exactly what I needed, so I jerked my chin toward the door without saying anything and he stood up, crossing the room and shutting it without question. When he turned back to me, his expression hadn’t changed much, but there was a flicker of interest in his eyes now.
“Okay,” he said simply. “Give it to me straight.”
I hesitated, which wasn’t like me at all, but this felt like stepping directly onto thin ice, knowing damn well it was probably going to crack. But I had to tell someone.
“Something happened in Hawaii,” I said.
“Did you finally try Spam? I love that stuff in Hawaiian cooking.”
“Well, I definitely tried something new,” I said. “Like kissing Jacqueline.”
Nate’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “Of course you did. Dammit, Jesse. Can’t you keep it in your pants for a couple months?”
“I kept it in my pants, thank you very much,” I said. “I only slipped a little with one kiss.”
“Well, I suppose that’s not the end of the world.” He paused. “As long as she’s still good with things.”
I shook my head and shrugged. “Things are definitely tense now. I’m worried I screwed the deal up by crossing a line.”
Nate sighed. “Well, you can keep worrying yourself sick or you can just talk to the woman. See where the two of you stand.”
“As if it’s that easy,” I said, frowning.
“I didn’t say it would be easy,” he said. “It’s simple but not easy. But that’s the price you pay for letting your little head do the thinking for you.”
“I showed a heroic level of restraint after that kiss, just for the record.”
His eyes narrowed on mine and he looked at me for long enough that I wondered if he was going to call me out, but he didn’t. “For now, my advice is for you to go home and sleep on it. Everyone makes better decisions after a good night’s rest. With the kiddo, I’ve forgotten what good sleep is like, but you can sleep for the both of us.”
I smiled faintly. “I’ll try my best.”
