J.
That was it. There was no apology for the way he’d left me or any mention of last night at all, and I stared at it for a second before letting out a soft, humorless laugh.What is it with the men in my life leaving shitty notes?
After the last one, I could have gone the rest of my days without receiving another one of these, but that was evenmoretrue now. Our last day in Hawaii and he hadn’t even bothered to wake me up, let alone take me with him.
Not that I wanted to go golfing. Honestly, I’d rather wrestle another millipede. While I knew how to play, I wasn’t much of a golfer, but still. It stung that he’d left me here.
Ever since we’d arrived, he’d been dragging me with him from pillar to post. Then he’d kissed me like the ship was going down and now he was gone.
Figures.
I sighed and stretched my arms out above my head, resolving to make the best of my last bit of time on the island. I didn’t need Jesse by my side to do that. As devastatingly handsome and incredibly fun as he was, the man clearly had some issues to work through.
He could have been an adult and just told me the kiss had been a mistake, that our agreement was clear that we were just faking it. And from a purely logical perspective, it would be better if we kept up our charade without getting physical. I would have understood, but instead, he was choosing to ghost me.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
Climbing out of bed in a huff, I changed into my bikini, brushed my teeth, lathered on the sunscreen, and made my way down to our private beach. It was beautiful, the type of scenery that would make a great wallpaper on my computer. I hadn’t spent nearly enough time here yet.
Crystal clear, bright blue water lapped at perfectly white sand while actual palm trees swayed in a slight breeze. Unfortunately, none of that kept me from being bored just over twenty minutes later. I’d already gone for a swim and scrolled through my phone, but it just wasn’t the same without him.
I wanted to tear my own hair out just for having the thought, but that didn’t make it any less true. Even picture-perfect paradise wasn’t enough to distract me from thinking about last night.
Horsing around with Jesse on this very same beach had been far more entertaining than lounging around here by myself, so I got up, dusted sand off my butt, and went back to the house.
After finally taking a shower and changing into shorts and a T-shirt, I drifted over to the shed attached to the pool house. There were beach chairs and old umbrellas, random bits and bobs, a tent I doubted would stand anymore, but there, at the back, was a bicycle.
Bingo.
It looked functional enough. I picked my way through the clutter and lifted the bike over some old tools before pushing it out into the street. The ride to town was surprisingly pleasant, with the breeze in my hair and the air warm but not suffocating.
It even managed to clear my head a bit, my thoughts finally quieting as I immersed myself in the scenery. Hawaii truly was everything the movies promised and more. The sky was bluer than blue, puffs of pure white clouds drifting overhead.
Lush greenery stretched out on both sides of the road, the ocean a glistening constant in the distance. I could so easily get lost here, just spending days exploring on this bicycle, but apparently, I’d wasted the opportunity to do just that by tagging along to all of Jesse’s work commitments.
Why I’d done it, God only knew. We hadn’t needed to be together every second of every day for people to take picturesof us and for investors to see Jesse looking respectable. We could’ve just made a single, photo-op appearance once a day and it would’ve been enough.
But no, I’d followed him around like a lost bloody puppy.Well, no more.
When I reached the town, I kept pedaling lazily until I found a small cafe that seemed promising. It looked like it catered to the kind of crowd that wore linen on purpose, but the little blackboard outside promised the best lattes in town and that was good enough for me.
After ordering a latte, I sat down outside, watching people drift past and finally starting to feel less like I was unraveling. That kiss had been so deep that I’d felt like it touched my soul, but Jesse wasn’t the sort to care about that. That was okay because true love and affection were off-limits anyway. All I had to do now was make peace with it.
When the latte arrived, I sipped it slowly and smiled. The sign hadn’t been lying. I hadn’t tried every latte in town yet, obviously, but this one was pretty good. Eventually, when people-watching grew tedious, I pulled out my phone to avoid having my mind wander back to Jesse, deciding to check in with my sister, Jessica, instead.
She’s the better Jessie anyway.
Unsurprisingly, however, I got her voicemail. For just a second, I considered making another call, but the truth was that there simply wasn’t really anyone else to call. Being with Thomas for so long had meant shared friends, and by the end of it, my life had been so thoroughly tangled with his that when he’d left, those connections had mostly gone with him.
I’d been a package deal and then I was nothing. Some of the girls, of course, had had lunch with me before I’d left London, but no one had made contact since. Calling them out of the blue would probably just seem desperate.
Opening my messages instead, I pulled up Miranda’s contact and typed out a quick text.
Me: Is it normal to miss work while on vacation? Asking for a friend.
Her reply came almost instantly and I chuckled when I read it.
Miranda: You’re on PTO. Go enjoy your vacation. There’s plenty of work waiting for you when you get back.
