“There’s so much going on right now. You have to go back home, and I’ll need to take care of my Baba for who knows how long. It’s too much all at once.”
“Nairie, it’s a lot to take in, but we can work through this together. Your parents will come around.”
Her voice broke. “No, they won’t. Baba nearly died because I stressed him out so much.”
“Love, this wasn’t your fault.”
Nairie’s voice came out as a whisper as she squeezed her eyes shut. “Please. I’m so tired, William. I have to focus on my family right now, and you have to go back home.”
I kneeled in front of her. “Look at me.”
Nairie’s beautiful brown eyes were magnified by her tears.
“I can postpone my trip. I can stay for as long as you need me.”
Nairie sucked in a breath and shut her eyes. “I won’t let you do that.”
“Nairie . . .”
Nairie looked at me with so much sadness and desperation. “Please, give me some time. Please?”
My heart shattered. I couldn’t help but notice how different this pain felt from when I found Shannon in bed with Angus. I was sore about it for years, angrier at Angus than sad about Shannon.
I didn’t truly know pain until this moment. The thought of leaving Nairie was utter agony. My breathing constricted, and my eyes were on the brink of tears. My skin felt hot, and my fists clenched to try and hold onto whatever we had.
There was no debate about the depth of my feelings now. I loved this girl with all my heart. My soul recognized hers. I knew then I could never truly let her go. What she needed was time, and she needed to come to the realization on her own. The thought of leaving her inthis state tore at the fabric of my being. I wanted to stay, to make her see that she needed me and I needed her. But I would do anything for her, even if it meant waiting for her.
I breathed in and stroked the side of her face. I brushed away her tears with my thumb. “If that’s what you really want. But this isn’t over for me, Nairie. It’ll never be over for me because I love you.”
I wanted to tell her under better circumstances, preferably in some romantic setting or in bed together, but timing was never on our side. She looked at me awestruck, licking her lips, trying to find the words, but I kissed her and left before she could respond.
Every step I took set us farther and farther apart. She would have a chance to say it back to me when she was ready.
***
The next day, I was saying goodbye to Elspeth at the airport and tried to ignore the twist in my gut. Elspeth agreed it was better for Nairie to work through this on her own, and I had to trust that.
Elspeth hugged me tightly. “She loves you, Will.”
“I know.”
“She’ll figure it out soon enough.”
I pulled away and smiled down at her. “I’ll miss you. Come visit me soon if you don’t fuck up the pub before then.”
Elspeth punched my arm. “So little faith. I’ve got things under control now. Thank you for helping me and staying for as long as you did. I’ll come see you for Christmas. Promise.”
“Good.”
We shared one last hug, and I boarded the plane.
Coming back home felt good and depressing at the same time. The cold, wet rain was a stark contrast to those long summer days in LA, but I welcomed it since it so often matched my mood. That familiar emptiness I used to carry before Nairie made its return, and I heaved a sigh as I drove up the small hill to the inn. It was perched at the top, so it had a good view of the sea. The forest and mountains surrounded the inn, making it feel nestled and secret, and there were plenty of trails for guests to wander. There was even a loch nearby where hikers could explore. Each window had red shutters and flower boxes to make it homey.
I walked up the cobble steps toward the front door. Even though we renovated it, we kept the charm, like the chipped stoneware and moss growing over the sides of the building. A warm, inviting scent of freshly baked bread hit me as soon as I entered the foyer.
When we inherited the property, it only had five bedrooms, but we expanded to twelve and added five additional private cottages along the perimeter. Although two were taken up by Mum and I.
Mum decorated the whole inn, curating vintage furniture and rustic decor for each room and communal space. It was a labor of love, but I was glad to have her passionate about something again. For the longest time, she was putting in long hours at various odd jobs, cleaning or bartending. Now she could enjoy relaxing a bit, even if relaxing to her still meant a full day’s work like leading the hiking tours, tending the gardens, and helping me manage the estate.
