Losing my virginity to William last night replayed in my mind as I drove to my parents’ house. I couldn’t believe it’d actually happened. Elspeth said I wouldn’t feel different, but I did. I was comfortable in my skin and felt invigorated despite some soreness.
I loved hearing William lose control; his animalistic grunts were all because of me.
When he asked about coming inside me, it didn’t matter that I was already on the pill. A crazy part of me wanted him to come, risks be damned, because carrying William’s baby was a subconscious wish I didn’t even know I had. Definitely would have to unpack that later with Elspeth, but I was in deep shit with my parents and needed to spin a lie fast.
I’d already texted to ensure my entire family that I was still alive, but when I walked through the front door, it was deadly quiet.
Too quiet.
I got to the kitchen and saw nearly my whole family. Despite the stressful circumstances, coffee and snacks were being distributed. Every eye turned to me as I entered the room, and I saw my mother in a fit of tears in one of the armchairs. Some of my aunts were consoling her while Baba stood outside, glaring at me through the patio doors. I scanned more faces until I came across AuntLilit. She was holding back a laugh.
Baba entered the room and escorted Mom and I to my bedroom. I felt ten years old again, preparing for the scolding of a lifetime. I tried to stay strong and show no fear, but it was hard when they both stood above me while I sat on the bed.
Baba looked at me sternly. “What were you thinking?”
Mom burst into another fit of tears, blowing her nose loudly into a tissue.
“I know. I’m sorry for not telling you where I was.”
Mom croaked. “We thought you were snatched! And to hear you disrespected David at dinner was just as bad.”
“Me being kidnapped is equivalent to me throwing a drink in a guy’s face?”
“Your mother is being dramatic, but we don’t know what’s going on. This isn’t like you, Nairie.” Baba eyed me closer. “And what’s this all over your neck?”
My stomach flipped. I forgot William had left hickeys all over my body. I covered them with my hands. “It’s just eczema.”
Mom inched closer to examine me herself. “Ex-what?”
I moved across the room and hugged my cardigan tighter. “It’s a skin condition. I’m figuring it out.”
The weight of guilt felt like an elephant sitting on my chest, but I had to change the subject and fast. “Look, I’m really sorry. David was being incredibly rude, and I was so upset I wanted to go to Elspeth’s to tell her all about it. Then I fell asleep, and my phone died before I could charge it.”
Mom blew her nose loudly. “This is why you needto move back home, Nairie. We can’t keep an eye on you when you’re at Elspeth’s all the time.”
Baba nodded aggressively. “Your mother’s right. You need to move back.”
This was the point where I would always buckle. I’d acquiesce to avoid causing a scene, to be the well-behaved daughter they raised me to be, but something was different.Iwas different. I felt it the first time I told them I was moving out to help Elspeth take care of her mother, and I felt it now.
The dare to revolt was manifesting itself in the pit of my stomach, roiling to a boil.
“No.”
They looked at me like I’d sprouted three heads.
“What do you mean no?” Mom asked.
I crossed my arms. “I mean, I’m not moving back in. I’m twenty-three, and I think it’s time.”
“Nairie, you’re not married. This is unacceptable.” Baba’s voice was low and serious.
I stood my ground even though fear crept back in. “No. I love you guys, but I’m not moving back.”
Mom seethed. “Do you want to end up like your aunt? Alone in god knows what country? The whole community constantly talking bad about you?!”
We all turned around when there was a knock at my door.
Lilit crossed her arms against her frilly shirt. It had a deep V-neck, exposing her multitude of layered turquoise necklaces. She wore bell-bottom slacks over her chunky heels like she was straight out of an issue ofVoguefrom the seventies.
