17
The week passes quickly and quietly while Hendrix helps me with physical therapy. I feel much stronger even if I’m still slow. I’m not relying on the cane anymore. Progress.
I wish I could say the same for my memory. As much as I want to know who I am, part of me is afraid to chase the shadows at the edges of my mind. What if I can’t face the truth and what’s real? Remembering will be a blessing and a curse.
I’ll lose my sister all over again and feel the full weight of grief from the beginning. But I can’t fight what I don’t know. And the fact remains, someone out there killed her and tried to kill me. They’re still watching and biding their time to strike again. I can feel it in my bones.
“Hey, London.”
Hendrix walks into the bathroom and stands behind me as I brush my hair getting ready for bed.
“Hey,” I say gently, putting the brush on the counter while meeting his gaze in the bathroom mirror.
“I’m getting ready to lie down, I just wanted to make sure you were okay after having dinner with your parents tonight. It was a bit tense to say the least,” he admits.
I turn and face him.
“Yeah. We haven’t told Mom there’s a chance I might be…” I trail off and glance at the floor, unable to hold his stare.
As always, he tips my chin back up with his knuckle.
“Is that why your dad was so quiet?”
I nod. “He saw me drive at the track behind Tyler Motorsports. He’s confused and in limbo because he doesn’t think London could drive the way I did that night…the way Lennon could. We all agreed there was no reason to get her mixed up in the ugliness unless we have to. But she knows we’re hiding something from her.”
“I see,” he says as he stares at me.
“Well, if you’re all right, I’m going to lie down. I’ll be going back to work tomorrow night. Unless…” His voice fades.
I smile and throw my arms around his neck even though my left shoulder still protests the motion. “I’ve kept you away for too long. What you do is important, Hendrix. You help people in their worst moments. You’re a healer.”
He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I feel powerless when it comes to helping you. I haven’t helped you heal at all.”
“Hendrix, that’s not true. You’ve got me walking on my own again even though I’m still a bit slow.”
He leans his forehead down to mine. “I’m glad I could help with your physical recovery. But I wish I could heal your heart and your mind too.”
“It’s not for lack of trying. You and I both know the head and the heart are difficult to tackle when they’re working together. Since I woke up in that hospital bed, it’s been nearly impossible when my head and my heart haven’t even been connected. But I know the connection is still there and I’ll find it.”
“I know you will,” he says.
He pulls me close and glides a finger down my cheek softly. “I want you to know, no matter what happens when your connection is restored, I love you.”
I care about Hendrix so much it hurts, but I can’t say the words back to him when it’s one of the disconnects right now. My heart is in love with Dash even if my mind says it should be Hendrix.
I press my lips to his softly.
He pulls away and turns to leave.
“Wait. Will you sleep in the bed with me tonight? Just to hold me? If it’s too hard or asking too much of you, I understand. But I could use the reassurance I always find in your arms tonight.”
His almost tortured gaze from before softens as his face seems to relax. “I can do that.”
We turn out the lights and slide under the covers. He pulls my back to his chest and drapes an arm protectively over me. For the first time in the weeks since the accident, I fall asleep easily.
I’munsure of my decision to come back to Tyler Motorsports when I park out front, but I’m here now.
My phone buzzes in my hand. It’s Dash. I’ve not spoken to him since the night he took me back to Lennon’s wrecked car, although I did text him back and asked for time and space.
