“What happened to me?” I ask, but it’s not a polite question. It’s a demand. I wiggle the fingers on my right hand again. It’s still empty. The feeling of overwhelming loss is all I sense.
Frustration pours down my throat with angry tears as the only outward symptom.
“Lennon!” I hear someone shout from the hall. It’s a cry filled with the most gut-wrenching, soul-gripping pain.
Everyone’s attention turns to the doorway as another man frantically enters my room. Chills prickle my skin as I search his watery eyes.
The woman collapses against the man with salt-and-pepper hair as he stares at the mystery guy angrily. His lips are pinched as he tries to console her.
“Lennon?” he asks me. Something pulls at my memory about the name, but why?
“I don’t know who I am. Who are you?” I ask.
Tears trail down his handsome face and he doesn’t bother to wipe them away. “I’m Dash. Dash Conrad.”
He moves closer to my bed but the man with salt-and-pepper hair stops him. He shoves him away, but Dash’s gaze never leaves mine.
“Leave, Dash. You’re the reason this happened, and you know it. You’re the reason my baby girl is dead!” he shouts in his face as the woman tugs on his arm.
“Who died?” I ask as they continue to argue with each other. Everyone is shouting or talking except Dash. His haunted gaze is still on me. He stares at me like he knows my every secret. Does he? Am I Lennon? Is that my name?
“Lennon,” Dash says again as he shrugs away from the older man.
This time he gets close to my bed. He leans in like he’s about to kiss me before the doctor named Hendrix jerks him back. “Enough, Dash! You’re going to have to face it, she’s gone! And trying to find her inmygirlfriend won’t bring her back! You need to leave!” he shouts.
He stares at the doctor. “I would feel it in here if she was gone, Hendrix,” he says as he rubs his chest over where his heart is. “How do you feel?” he asks pointing at Hendrix’s chest.
The doctor gets closer to him. “Maybe you didn’t love her like you thought you did, Dash. Because that woman is not Lennon. She’s London.” He points at me while staring Dash down.
“Someone tell me what’s going on right now!” I shout.
All stares settle on me. The nurse exits the room and shuts the door. Dash, Hendrix, and the older couple remain.
Hendrix comes over to my bedside and takes my right hand in his. It feels off somehow. “You were in a wreck with your twin sister. You’ve been unconscious for four days. You’re in a step-down ICU. You sustained a TBI—a traumatic brain injury. The left side of your body was crushed on impact leaving you with a broken shoulder, several cracked ribs, your left lung collapsed, and the left side of your pelvis was crushed. Recovery will be a long, painful road.”
“And what happened to my memory?” I ask as I feel a tear trail down my cheek and hit my lips.
He watches the teardrop’s descent and then he takes a deep breath before his shoulders drop in what seems to be defeat.
“TBI’s can cause amnesia,” he says.
I pull my right hand free from his. “And what? What does that mean? I won’t ever remember who I am?”
“Amnesia can be unpredictable. It can last anywhere from as little as twenty-four hours to…” His words trail off and he glances down like he doesn’t want to tell me.
“To what?” I ask pushing him to continue.
“To forever. There’s a chance you might not ever get your memories back. But there’s also hope you will. It really depends on the severity of your brain injury and what might trigger memories for you,” he says quietly as he glances back up at me with his own red-rimmed eyes. Clearly, he loves London.
My chin quivers as I glance at the older couple who seem to be my parents. Then my gaze lands on Dash and my heart aches. If I’m who they say I am, then he’s lost the woman he loves. They’ve lost a daughter.I’ve lost…my twin sister. And I feel like I’ve lost myself.
I wiggle my empty fingers and instantly know, even if I don’t remember, it was her voice whispering, “hold my hand.”And now the sense of losing something important is explained. And I know, from this day forward, none of our lives will be the same. Because not only did I lose my memories, but I lost the other half of myself. And I don’t know how to remember her without remembering me.
2
“Where is she?” I ask through the haze of knowing I’ve lost someone so important to me.
Hendrix stands tall and shifts from one foot to the other uncomfortably. My supposed parents’ skin turns ashen as they keep their gazes down to the floor.
