Derek turned and studied the painting. He never really considered his art in terms of beautiful or ugly. He never really wanted to qualify or quantify his work, because he could show it to a thousand people—a million people, even—and only get a handful of similar opinions. The only thing that mattered was that it represented what he saw when he closed his eyes.
These paintings were simple—dream-like images of his past when he was a child and he and Sage would sneak off during their stay in Missouri. His mother and father had purchased a little cottage on the banks of the Lake of the Ozarks when they were six. They hired a full-time caretaker for the place, who looked after the cottage and his father’s hunting dogs.
Derek and Sage would sneak off into the woods and explore and feel how different it was there to anywhere else they had ever been. Growing up in New York, he understood profoundly the term Concrete Jungle, but it never really made sense until he had something to compare it to. There were trees everywhere, vines growing up out of the earth, wrapping around thick, brown trunks. Moss covered the ground, fallen leaves making a cushion for when one of them climbed to a low branch and fell.
Derek discovered a cluster of trees with branches so close together, they made a hammock between them. His father had been angry one day when Derek was thirteen, the year after his mother died. He’d been frustrated by a phone call Derek had been around for, but he’d taken his temper out on Derek with the edge of his thick leather belt. Derek rested his welted back against those soft branches and spent hours watching the sun through the leaves make strange shapes. He laid there for hours until Sage found him and talked him home.
He didn’t think about that trip for years, but right after he met Basil, right after he knew Basil was someone he wanted and didn’t think he could have, he dreamt of that day. He closed his eyes and saw those shapes and felt a promise of a life he didn’t think would ever be his. Now it was, and the thought almost brought him to his knees.
‘You okay?’ Basil asked after touching his arm to get his attention.
Derek cleared his throat, then turned to him. ‘Yes,’ he signed, his wrist hurting just a little from work. ‘Yes, I’m fine. These are a memory from my childhood. We had a cottage in Missouri, and we would stay there some summers. It was nice before my mother died.’ He licked his lips, then rolled his eyes to the ceiling for a second before looking back at the other man. ‘I’m happy you’re here.’
Basil’s eyes seemed to glow at that, and although he didn’t smile, there was something about his lips that spoke of a shared joy. He stepped closer and his hands came out to touch again, and Derek let him. Derek stepped into him and let himself feel every second of that impact.
So few people had touched him with tenderness in his life, and this was almost too much. It was like the softness was painful in a way, but he didn’t want to let it go. His hook-ups before had been quick and dirty, never shameful—he’d never let himself feel like that about who he was and what he wanted—but they’d never been kind.Biting kisses when he let himself be kissed, and harsh thrusts and stinging pain.
But never this. Never a soft mouth at the hinge of his jaw threatening to bring him to both climax and tears. His breath stuttered and shook in his chest, even as he dragged his hands down Basil’s arms and linked their fingers together.
He gently tugged him, his chin jutting toward the bedroom and Basil let himself be led away. The walk felt like it took a hundred years, and yet no time at all, and suddenly they were in the dim room with the door closed, and Basil had Derek pressed against the wood behind him. The door knob dug into the small of his back, but he didn’t notice it. How could he, when Basil’s hands were suddenly everywhere, scrambling for every inch of skin he could reach.
With the faintest groan, Basil shoved his thigh between Derek’s spread legs, gently pushing upward as his lips closed around his stretched lobe. His tongue toyed with the ring inside, giving sudden sensation to skin he’d long-since thought was numb. His eyes rolled back, head falling until it thudded against the door, and he ground down on the heavy weight of Basil’s leg holding him up.
‘Bed.’ Basil had to sign it three times before it registered, but when it did, Derek nodded frantically and pushed him back the ten steps before they fell onto the unmade covers. The sheets beneath them were cool, soothing to his overheated skin, and he suddenly felt choked by his clothes.
The sensation lasted only seconds, though, because Basil immediately got to work. He pulled at zips, yanking at buttons, stripping away fabric from both of them until it was just hot, slightly tacky skin pressed together as their mouths melded again.
It was a strange thing, not saying anything, knowing that his groans were felt and not heard. He was profoundly aware of what Basil’s hand was doing as it rested on his throat when he gave a particularly loud moan, and part of him wished he could block his ears to experience it that way.
“Fuck,” he breathed, unable to help voicing aloud as Basil’s otherhand snaked between them and cupped his balls. His fingers were gentle but insistent as they rolled his soft flesh, palming their heavy weight in his hands. He was already close—too close for comfort—but he found he couldn’t care. He was here, finally, with the man he’d wanted for weeks and weeks and it was happening.
“Uhng,” Basil groaned. His voice was rich and deep, muted but so absolutely perfect in the silence of the room that it made Derek’s head spin. Basil shoved at him until they were lying side by side, facing each other, and Basil had a hand around both their dicks.
Derek reached behind him, a fumbling hand until he got his nightstand drawer open and pulled out the lube. It was barely used—his night anxiety making it difficult to rub one out successfully and he’d stopped trying a long time ago. But that was the furthest thing from his mind right then. When he slicked his palm and coated both their cocks, all he could think about was Basil touching him again.
He didn’t have to wait long as a warm palm closed around him and began a furious rhythm. His stomach clenched, balls already going tight with anticipation, and it was all he could do to reciprocate. Basil carefully grabbed him by the wrist and tugged his hand over his hip, down between his cheeks, and Derek’s breath stuttered in his throat as he realized what Basil was asking for.
He looked down at Basil’s eyes, almost all pupil, mouth slightly open, cheeks red as he panted and thrust his hips back against Derek’s hand. ‘Please,’ he mouthed.
Derek circled one finger around his hole as he felt Basil thrust their dicks together, the sensation almost distracting. But he wanted this to be good for the other man, wanted to give him every single reason and more to come back, to do this again and again until they simply became part of each other’s lives without wondering if this time was the last time.
He pushed the tip of his first finger inside Basil’s impossibly tight hole, and Basil let out a deep, heavy moan, his body vibrating with it. He fucked himself backward, Derek’s finger slipping in even deeper,and Derek felt his orgasm starting to crest. His dick throbbed, and Basil’s hand tightened over him, stroking faster.
“I’m,” Derek said aloud. Basil’s eyes were frantically moving between Derek’s cock and his mouth, like he didn’t want to miss a second of anything. “I’m,” Derek said again.
Basil nodded, and sped up, and fucked against Derek’s hand until suddenly Derek’s vision whited out and his mouth opened in a silent cry. His entire body seized, pleasure shooting from his core, into every limb, making him go almost numb for a second as he felt himself spilling and spilling over Basil’s hand.
He came back to himself in fits and bursts, realizing he’d somehow managed to slip two fingers inside of Basil now, and was fucking him with a slow rhythm as Basil stroked his own cock. Derek’s eyes fixed down at the motion, unable to look away. He saw the tension rising in Basil, the way the muscles in his arms bulged, looking up to see the pulse in his neck beating against the skin.
Basil groaned again, and then huffed, then cried out louder than Derek expected to hear as he fell back and came. He splattered his stomach with it, the dark curls going sticky and off-white, and his hand slowed down, knuckles a mess from the both of them.
Derek’s breathing began to return to normal as he gently pulled himself out of Basil’s ass and laid his hand flat on the mattress. He couldn’t bring himself to pull away, overwhelmed with the sensation to kiss Basil, to hold him, to keep him there because he’d had this now and he didn’t want to lose it. He couldn’t. It would wreck him.
He became aware of the silence in the room, nothing more than the soft breathing between them, and the gentle hum of electricity somewhere in the front room of the apartment. Derek was still frozen in his position, halfway over Basil, staring down at him when Basil’s dark eyes came open and their gazes locked.
After a moment, Basil’s mouth stretched into a grin. ‘Hey,’ he mouthed.
Derek couldn’t help it. His head fell into the crook of Basil’s neck and he laughed, the sound far too loud for him right then, but he washelpless against it. Happiness was flooding through him, and he knew logically it had everything to do with the orgasm, but it also had to do with the fact that for the first time, a moment like this felt right, and good. He laid several open-mouthed kisses to the warm crook of Basil’s neck simply because he couldn’t help it.
