Every client since then had been not enough. Each session lacked the intimacy of his work with Basil, and it was getting to him. With a heavy sigh, he sat back in his chair, watching the young girl leave. The second the door shut, he spun and eyed Tony who was putting together a new bookshelf for Kat’s stall.
“Can I ask you something?”
Tony turned, eyebrows raised. “Of course.”
“You’ve done a lot of Kat’s work, right? Like pretty much all of it?”
Tony put his screwdriver down and turned his chair to face Derek. “Yeah. She had a small sparrow on the back of her neck before we met, and the cover-up I did turned into her entire piece. Why?”
“I just,” Derek said, trying to find words that would make sense. “Was it different, working on her? I mean, when you started on her, were you two already a thing?”
Tony’s mouth quirked into a half smile. “Not quite a thing yet, but we were getting there. And yeah, there was a different kind of intimacy there than with my usual clients.” He scratched the back of his head as he looked at Derek. “Something goin’ on with you?”
Derek felt his cheeks redden a little as he shrugged. “I’ve just…there’s a guy—a client, sort of…”
“The guy you workin’ on for free?” Tony asked.
Derek shrugged. “Might be, yeah. He’s just different. It’s different with him. At first, I thought it might be transference. He helped me out when I freaked out when I got locked in at the bank and my head can get a little nuts when it comes to that stuff. But it just…hasn’t stopped.”
“He’s the guy you started the class for,” Tony pointed out.
Derek felt a wave of guilt. “You know that’s for Jazz, Tony. You know she’s important to me.”
Tony laughed. “Yeah, but it also don’t surprise me that it took the promise of good dick to rush you through the door. I ain’t mad about it, Der. I know you love my girl. She loves you just as much, and you’d get there no matter what. But why you askin’ me this?”
“Because it felt different the other night,” Derek told him. “It’s never been like that before, working on someone, and I’ve had some pretty intense regulars over the years. People I know better than I know myself. But today—it’s felt all fucked up. Working on other people feels empty and wrong. Like…like…”
“Like you’re cheating?” Tony offered, and when Derek flushed again, he laughed and shook his head. “That’s normal. And that won’t last forever. Hell, won’t even feel the same tomorrow. But you damn well know this is intimate shit, here. We’re leaving our mark—sometimes on strangers we’ll never see again. They’ll be carryin’ a piece of us for life, and even if they get that shit covered up, we’re still there. When you cross that line and mark someone who mightbe special to you, it changes things a little. Adds a layer you don’t feel with anyone else. You learn to separate it, but it takes a little time.”
Derek nodded, sighing quietly as he leaned on his table. “I think this could be something. I mean…maybe not. He hasn’t really given me any indication he’s interested in anything more than friendship and sign language tutoring. But when I’m with him, it feels right.”
“Would you be happy, just havin’ this?” Tony asked. “Just friends?”
“Any way I can have him in my life,” Derek answered, and he was surprised by just how much he meant it. Before Tony could respond, Derek’s phone buzzed, and he glanced at the screen. There was a message from Niko, the first after his promise to text, and Derek was a little startled the guy had actually gone through with it.
“Go ahead,” Tony told him with a grin and a wink. “I gotta finish this up before Kat comes in here and sees what a fuckin’ mess I’ve made.”
Derek chuckled, then opened up his phone to read it.
Niko: Any chance you’d be up for that drink tonight. It’s been a long day and I could use some company.
Derek: I promised my buddies we’d hang out at our friend’s place, but he wouldn’t mind if you tagged along. Chill night, beer and food.
Niko: Can I meet you at the shop?
Derek: Be here at seven thirty.
He set his phone down, smiling just a little. He wasn’t sure he was ready to consider more with Niko, but he really did want, at the very least, to be his friend. Sage had been right about how much they had in common, and he might have thought a few shitty things, but he wasn’t sure yet. And frankly, he was testing him. Maybe it was a dick move in a way, but he wanted to see what would happen if hebrought Niko into a house with the people he loved whose disabilities were in your face visible.
Derek: Yo, can I bring a friend tonight? I’ll pick up food.
James: Whatever you want, man. If we can help you bump uglies and get you over this slump, we got your back. Nothing’s going down besides Matty working on my leg anyway.
Sam: Whatever you want, but get bbq, I want slaw on okra so bad I can taste it.
Derek: Gross, but ok. See you at 8.
Seven-fifteen rolled around, and Derek wasn’t surprised at all when Niko strolled through the door. Lucy, Mat’s roommate who was just starting her apprenticeship with them, was using Sage’s stall, and when she smiled up at him, Derek realized Niko was friendly with more than just his brother in the shop.
