Licking his lips, he stared down at the paper again, then looked back at her. ‘I don’t think this is a good idea.’
‘One drink,’ she begged, then leaned over the desk and touched his chin to make sure she had his attention. ‘Please, just one drink. I promise if you hate everything about him, I’ll never bother you again. I’m just tired of you not letting yourself get out there just because you’re afraid. Not everyone is cruel. Most hearing people would never, ever do what Chad did.’
‘Enough of them do,’ he reminded her. He wasn’t the only person who had dealt with hearing ignorance, but the fact that she so readily chose to ignore it, or to overlook it, got under his skin.
Her cheeks pinked and she shook her head. ‘Please.’
After a long moment, he finally relented. The trouble was, he had been happy. Or at the very least, he’d been content. Every single day up to the moment he walked into that fucking vestibule, he’d been satisfied with his single life. Then, in the sweep of rolling thunder, it all changed. Now his entire being was consumed with wanting someone he couldn’t have because Derek was a bad idea all around.
But this guy—Jay—this CODA tech guy who ran Deaf events, might have been the answer he was looking for. Because he’d takejust about anything to get his mind off the one man he wouldn’t let himself consider.
The problemwith Denver was the same problem Basil discovered in Chicago, and in DC—you couldn’t escape the pretension of people’s desire to impress. No matter how down to earth or relaxed the community was, there was always something like this—a upstairs wine loft which served obscure labels and cheese boards covered in meats he didn’t like, and fruits dried beyond recognition. The fact that he could sit and converse with the relatively attractive man in his own language without having to worry about going slow or dumbing down his slang should have been a relief.
Instead, Basil found himself staring at the guy’s exposed forearms, bared from rolled up shirt sleeves, and thinking about how all that pale flesh was just…boring. Basil hadn’t ever been a tattoo guy before—he’d never really thought about it, hadn’t paid much attention to people who sported them except to find himself occasionally distracted when he was trying to pay attention to their words, but now…
‘Are you okay?’
Jay’s waved hand in his line of sight jolted him out of his thoughts, and he flushed a little, giving him an apologetic smile. ‘Sorry. It’s been a really long week,’ he told him. He forced himself to really look at the guy one more time, to search for a spark which wasn’t there, but maybe it could be if he tried hard enough. Ama hadn’t been wrong, the guy was good looking and intelligent. He was taller than Basil by an inch or so, thin but lithe enough he probably ran in the mornings, and his suit fit him like a second skin. His light brown hair sat styled in a prim part just to the side, and when he smiled, Basil saw neat and pearly white teeth.
Nothing about him was offensive, but on the flip side, nothing about him was intriguing. He’d spent the first half of the date talking about his work at the tech company and how much good they weredoing for the Deaf community as far as being offered access to relay devices, captioned phones, and devices to make the trips to the cinema easier. And Basil should have been thrilled by it all. Hell, he’d spent his first half of Freshman year attending every single protest he could make it to, demanding better accommodations and recognition for the Deaf. But something about Jay was exhausting, and even a little boring. Basil felt a little guilty for judging—it’s not like he’d gone into his own chosen career field, but the guy was as exciting as biting into a dry saltine.
‘How do you like the place?’ Jay asked him.
Basil raised his brows in surprise, then shrugged. ‘I don’t usually eat at places like this, but Fairfield doesn’t really have a lot to offer.’
‘Small town life,’ Jay signed, and there was something like disdain on his face which made Basil bristle. ‘I’ve been there a few times, no Deaf community at all.’
Basil wanted to argue that Fairfield didn’t have much of a community period. The people who lived there were either retired or owned businesses, and the rest of their busy life came from the bigger cities who wanted to drive out for the quaint ambiance. Still, Jay wasn’t entirely wrong. ‘It’s been a challenge,’ he admitted. ‘I could never figure out why my aunt liked it so much.’
Jay pulled a face when he signed, ‘Your sister said she married a hearing man. Maybe she just wanted to assimilate.’
The truth was, Basil didn’t know her well enough to even begin taking a guess, but the fact that Jay would feel he had the right to be judgmental over a member of his family that he had not only never met, but who had died, made his stomach feel twisted and sour. ‘Are you saying that’s bad?’
Jay looked a little startled. ‘I thought you were against it. I mean, your sister seems bad enough, but from what she said about you, I figured we were on the same page.’
Basil blinked at him. ‘You’re hearing.’
‘I’m CODA,’ Jay corrected, looking put out.
Basil couldn’t help his snort of laughter. ‘But you’re still hearing. You don’t really have the right to decide if it’s a good or bad thing.’
Jay’s jaw tightened and his hands flexed like he had an argument all prepared. Then, after a moment, he relaxed and his face gentled into a smile. Basil wasn’t a fool though, he could see the coldness that remained in his eyes and he knew this was doomed. Guys like Jay—guys who felt they had a right to speak where their voices weren’t wanted—they were a dime a dozen. He was wealthy and arrogant and dull, and nothing like the man Basil wished he was sitting there with.
Hell, he had a feeling if the night had gone on with Derek, they wouldn’t have come to this place at all.
‘I didn’t mean to offend,’ Jay told him.
Basil shrugged it off. There was no sense in fighting with him about it. ‘It’s fine. The truth is, I didn’t know my aunt very well, but she seemed to love it in Fairfield, and it’s started to grow on me.’
Jay smiled, but it was a little tight. ‘So, no plans to get out?’
Basil felt another wave of irritation at the question. There was a sort of condescending tone to his signs, an arrogance in the way he had said it, as though a small town wasn’t worthy of long-term plans. He hadn’t grown up in the place, but it was home for now, and he felt oddly protective. ‘I’m not sure,’ he finally answered.
Jay looked at him, then laid one hand on the table and signaled to the server for the bill. Basil turned his gaze away, knowing that Jay knew how rude it was to do it right there in the middle of their dinner conversation, but he wanted to make a point.
Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Basil caught a flash of bright color on skin, and he whipped his head around without thinking. A group of three people—one man and two women, all of them sporting colorfully inked skin—were being sat two tables over. When the man turned, Basil’s breath caught in his throat.
Derek. It was Derek. Their eyes met and the guy smiled a little, but there was no recognition there. Before Basil could panic, hesuddenly became aware of the different hair, of the tattoo on his neck and it hit him.
