CHAPTER ELEVEN
JONAH
I’d lostall concept of time when Tucker roused everyone from their pregame naps. We had an hour for carb loading and warm-ups, which technically was enough time for me to find Micah, but I was in no mood.
Tucker did stop me on the way out though, yanking me to the side. He tried not to do this too often. The last thing he wanted was to be accused of favoritism so early on in his career. But neither one of us could hide the fact that we’d been friends forever.
“So, I shot Micah a text earlier today and asked if he wanted to meet up, and he told me to fuck off. But, like, in a mean way.”
I bowed my head and sighed. “Yeah, Caleb called me on the way to the arena and said that Micah’s been weird. He asked me to go talk to him, but I don’t think I can.” I scrubbed my free hand down my face. “There’s too much going on. I know that makes me a monster, but?—”
Tucker cupped my face. “Hey. No. Do not start beating yourself up. I get why Micah and Caleb took a step back. But you’re doing this alone right now, so you don’t get to let them make you feel bad because you can’t shoulder any of their shit.”
I let out a shaking breath. I hadn’t realized how badly I needed to hear that. “You think?”
Tucker sighed and knocked our heads together. “Jonah, you are always the person they come to when things get bad. You have pulled Micah out of every terrible situation he’s gotten himself into. You’ve been there every time Caleb and his girlfriend have split up. You’ve solved every home repair problem, answered every goddamn tax question, even though you suck with numbers, and I’m not even sure they know how to change a lightbulb without you.”
I grinned. “Technically, they never change lightbulbs.”
He groaned. “You know what the fuck I mean, Jonah. So just breathe and let yourself have a moment. Micah will survive. Caleb will survive. I’m more worried about you right now.”
Easing back, I squared my shoulders and squeezed my cane tightly. “I’m fine.”
Tucker made a disbelieving noise but didn’t argue. Instead, he called, “Tiago! Get your goalie’s ass inside and get him some carbs.”
Tiago was beside me a moment later, his familiar arm under my hand. “What do you want to eat tonight?”
My stomach twisted again. “Nothing.” He grunted. “Fine. Whatever. A smoothie.”
“Not good enough,” he said as he led the way toward the guest entrance.
It probably wasn’t. I hadn’t eaten much in days. But for now, if I didn’t want to vomit inside the crease, it was the best anyone was gonna get from me.
I’d been half expecting Micah to find me before the game, but he didn’t. Matty and I did stretches together after I choked down half a protein drink, and I listened to him talk about his recent trip to the guide dog center.
“…and it was nice and all, but the smell was…kind of a lot? Like. They don’t tell you how intense the dogs stink after a long walk.”
I pulled a face as I lifted my hips and rocked them toward the ceiling. “Yep. It’s one of like ten thousand reasons Micah and I never bothered.”
“My mom finally stopped freaking out about my eyes, but now she’s hyperfixated on me getting a dog,” Matty said softly. “I’m allergic. I don’t want to be popping Benadryl like they’re Tic Tacs and unable to function on the ice. And like…I don’t know if this is normal or not, but smells and sounds are somehow worse for me right now.”
“I mean, I can’t speak to that because I was born blind, but the smell of dog—especially wet dog—is so fucking overwhelming I want to die,” I told him. “Plus, I am the laziest fuck on the planet, and the dogs need to be walked and played with and like…you gotta take them outside to piss and shit. It’s just not for me, you know?”
Matty sighed. “That makes me feel better. She was starting to make me feel like I was a freak because I didn’t want to. Like it’s the only way to safely live blind.”
“I mean.” I rolled over onto my hands and knees and spread my legs, rocking my hips toward the ground.
I rarely thought of sex when I was doing this, though I knew what the thirsty people online always said when players posted warm-up videos. But right now, I was thinking of someone specifically, and thank god for my cup, otherwise I would have a problem.
I shook Alexio out of my head as quickly as I could manage and cleared my throat. “Some people do get around better with a dog. And some don’t. You’re not doing the blind thing wrong if it isn’t for you.”
Matty burst into laughter. “Shit. That’s funny. But it’s true! My mom keeps expecting me to be like all those random YouTube videos of how to be blind. I think she thought the ability for me to read braille was going to manifest, like some gift from the universe because I lost my sight.”
I snorted and sat up on my knees, twisting left and right. My back cracked, and I let out a groan of relief. Fuck, I was way too tense. “I hate braille, dude. I think I would have thrown myself into the sun if I’d been born before all this sweet audio tech. But give your mom time to adjust. And maybe…I don’t know…get some space?”
“Was yours this bad?”
My guts twisted again, and the protein shake threatened to come back up. I breathed through it. “My mom was…different. But we don’t talk.” I clapped my hands together. “Anyway, let’s get our heads in the game.”
