Sure, I’d fantasized about touching someone else’s dick a few times. And sure, I was eventually made aware that not every straight dude did that.
But I had never wanted to the way I did with Zeki. It had never felt like an actual need before him. But fuck, in that moment—in the shower—it felt like if he didn’t touch me, I was going to die. Then he did, and the little death of my orgasm almost ruined me.
Fuck, if anyone found out about this, they were going to be so smug. The guys had been giving me shit about my dick comments for years. I was never going to live this down. Not ever.
Letting out a shaking breath, I picked my phone back up and scrolled through my contacts until I found Killian. He was the only one I knew was going to be home for sure, and he could spread the word about everything.
It rang three times before he answered.
“Hey, man.”
“Hey.”
“What’s wrong?”
God, I fucking hated how observant he was. “Can you come over? I think I’m having a crisis on multiple levels, and I also need help with some stuff. Personal stuff.”
“Are you in danger?”
I almost laughed. The dude always thought everyone was in danger. “Nope. I mean, probably my mental health, and I also haven’t been sleeping, so there’s that. But yeah…I have the day off today, and I could use some help before I freak the fuck out for real.”
“Give me forty-five minutes.”
That was the exact time it was going to take him to get from Turenne to Boston. “I’m not going anywhere. Trust me.”
Life was easier when Micah and I shared an apartment and commuted to the arenas. We’d always maintained apartments in Turenne and here, but it was different now that he was in Salem. It felt…weird. Distant. I hadn’t talked to him in so long because the only thing I had going on for the last few weeks was Dad, and he wasn’t going to hear it.
It felt oddly lonely. And I probably should tell him, but I wasn’t sure I could take him berating me for doing what my mom wanted. This was hard enough without his judgment. Not to mention, he’d been sharper lately.
Angrier.
And he wouldn’t say why.
Standing up, I made my way to the kitchen, listening for Athena’s little bell so I didn’t squish her. The place was kind of a mess, but I was in no mood to do dishes, so I shoved everything into the sink and ran a cursory sponge over the counter, then headed to the bedroom to change out of the clothes that smelled likehim.
By the time I heard the buzzer for Killian, I was lounging on the couch and used the app to unlock the door. It opened with asoft creak, and I recognized his footsteps as he walked into the house. Immediately, his knees thudded as they hit the floor.
“Athena. My precious little baby. Awww, look at you, princess.”
I couldn’t help my smile. I had never been more thankful that shit between Killian and his brother was on the slow mend. I doubted they’d ever be as close as they once were, but Tucker had grown from an angry man who reacted to everything as though it was meant to insult him personally to someone who was working on things like nuance.
And context.
That was all Amedeo, of course. Well, mostly. Tucker was doing better now that he was coaching too. He was breaking out of the box he’d put himself into, and that allowed me to keep one of my best friends. I would have chosen Tucker over Killian, but it would have hurt.
“Hey, bud.” The couch shifted as Killian sat beside me, and I could hear Athena’s loud purring, which probably meant she was getting comfortable on his chest. “You look better than I expected.”
“What did you expect?”
He snorted a laugh. “I don’t know. Maybe that you mouthed off to the wrong person and got your ass beat?”
That was…well, a likely scenario. Though most people did avoid beating the shit out of blind dudes. But I probably had one coming one of these days.
“Well, I feel pretty beat the fuck up, if I’m being honest.” I leaned back and scrubbed my hands down my face.
“You said something about a crisis.”
“Yeah. Multiple. What’s the name for that. Crisodes? Crisi?”
