CHAPTER SEVEN
ALEXIO
I was stilla little shaky when I pulled the goggles off. It wasn’t as bad as I’d been expecting. I’d done a shitload of research about blindness after Tucker had chewed me out, and I had a better understanding of all the things I didn’t know before walking into this.
Like how most of them could see something. Tiago was one of the team with the most amount of vision, though it was so limited when I put the goggles on, I felt like I was going to fall over. I had no idea how he navigated the world with almost no peripheral vision, but he didn’t seem like he had trouble.
He didn’t use a cane—at least, not that I noticed—and he recognized people on sight. But that didn’t make it less disorienting when I got on the ice and realized I could only see a small section of the world directly in front of me.
“Was all of this…” I started as my blades hit the ice and Tiago began to take us in wide circles to warm up. I didn’t know how to finish my sentence. I was tired of being labeled the asshole. I just didn’t know how to ask and not sound like a douchebag.
“Go on,” he said, nudging me with his stick. “Don’t be scared.”
“I’m not afraid. I just keep saying everything wrong. It’s not bad English. I’ve lived in England since I was a kid. I’m fluent. It’s only…”
“When you’re not familiar, you tend to say ignorant shit that gets people all fired up?” he offered.
I flushed. “Something like that.”
He snorted and elbowed me to indicate a right turn. “I’m not as fussy as some of the other guys. And some of them are probably just pretending to be offended to get under your skin. Just ask.”
I took a breath. “Was it hard? When all of this happened.”
He hummed in thought. “Yes. I was thirteen when I got diagnosed. It was a punch to the dick for fucking sure. I didn’t even realize anything was wrong because my peripheral vision was always shit. But then it got worse, and I started walking into walls and doors. My mom freaked. When the doctor told her I was going to end up blind, she started crying so hard she threw up.”
“Fuck,” I murmured.
“For me, it was more like being told all the things I wanted to do weren’t going to happen. I wasn’t ever going to be able to drive or get drafted to San Jose, who had been my team for literally ever. I’d never be able to pilot a plane for a living, or go to space, or even see a shooting star.”
“You’ve never seen a shooting star?” I couldn’t help but ask.
Tiago shrugged. “No, not really. By the time my parents took us out to watch our first meteor shower, I was nine, and my RP had already advanced to pretty severe night blindness. None of us knew it at the time. I didn’t say anything to them. I thought they were full of shit. Or that…I don’t know…I needed to grow into it. I figured one day I’d go into the eye doctor and get ugly Aviators like my dad wore, and everything would be normal.”
I licked my lips. “But that didn’t happen, I’m assuming?”
He snorted and rubbed the back of his neck. “No. No, my first appointment was the worst one. It took me a while to figure out what blind actually meant. I didn’t let my mom see me upset because she was freaking out. I decided to act like nothing was wrong to keep the peace.”
“Was it better that way?” I had a feeling I knew the answer.
He huffed and turned his head up toward the ceiling. “Maybe? My mom can be a lot. My dad is a master of avoidance, so that helped. My mom got weird every time she saw me acting blind. Like…like if I couldn’t find something that was right in front of me, or when I tripped over a curb, or when I had to hold her hand at night when we had to go places. She would tell people I was clumsy.”
“That’s…not great.”
“Yeah,” he breathed out. “It’s been getting worse. My dad doesn’t want to deal with the drama about it—his words.”
“What the fuck?”
He burst into laughter. “I know. But he—he gets so angry with me when I tell them what I need. My vision loss has progressed pretty rapidly over the last two years, and I’ve tried asking them for what I need when I go visit. You know, not leaving cupboard doors open and shit like that. And he gets so pissed off about it. I haven’t seen them in a while. I can’t really deal with trying to pretend to be sighted for them just because my blindness hurts their feelings.”
I turned my head until I could see him as properly as I could with my vision obscured. His eyes were very big and very blue. He had dark scruff over his chin and a matching head of dark hair. I couldn’t see them in the goggles, but in the light of the locker room, he also had freckles, which gave his face character.
He wasn’t my type. Not really. The unfortunate fact was the little asshole Jonah was the kind of guy I always went for.
But I could see Tiago’s appeal, and I wondered if he was fucking anyone on his team.
“What will you do if it gets worse? Will your spot on the team change?” I moved on from his parents because I could tell it was hurting him, and that wasn’t what I wanted. God help me, but I liked Tiago. A lot. We could be friends in another universe.
Or hell, maybe even in this one.
