“We have weird friends. You know that, right?” I state as we stare at each other.
He nods. “That is very factual.”
He looks down at the bed and is silent for a beat. I know this man well. He has something to say.
“Out with it,” I state as I lean forward.
His gaze meets mine. “Just…so…you’re dating again?” he stammers.
“Yes. That’s been established,” I say hesitantly. The last thing I want is to fight with Bray. But his question catches me off guard and I suddenly feel defensive.
He swallows hard. “Just…be careful, OK?”
I smile, relaxing a little, and pat his cheek. “I will be. I’m not looking for anything serious yet. I just want to dip my toes back in, you know?”
“Sure,” he says with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.
“What about you?” I ask, leaning back again.
He points a finger at his chest. “Me?”
“No, the man in the corner. Yes, you,” I repeat with a roll of my eyes.
His gaze leaves mine again. I watch his profile as he stares out the window. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to date,” he admits. For reasons that I’m not going to explore, I feel sad. I mean, I can’t date him. Not because I don’t want to, but because he’d never date a friend. He told me that once. But I wish he would. Deep down, Bray is my perfect man. I’d be lying to myself if I said different. However, I don’t see things ever changing between us. I’ve long ago given up on that.
“Well, I think you should consider dating. You deserve happiness, Bray. I want you to be happy,” I say as I watch him turn back toward me.
He reaches out and grabs my hand, squeezing it a little. “You know what I don’t deserve?” he asks. I shake my head. “Your friendship,” he adds quietly.
It’s like a dagger to my broken heart. We’ll never be anything more than friends. Once again, he’s making that very clear. Every secret dream I’ve ever had of us being a happy little family together is nothing more than make-believe, a wish that won’t ever come true.
Taking a shaky breath, I pull my hand from his and jump out of bed. “I should go help Vito and Drew. They are setting things up for tonight. I’ll be back later. You got Ava once she’s done playing?” I ask.
“Sure. I’ll see you at dinner,” he says as I practically run once my shoes are on my feet. I make it out the door and down the hill to an outbuilding that’s sort of like an old barn, if an old barn were made of stone and wood. I push open one of the giant doors and find a room full of big round tables. Drew and Vito are placing centerpieces on each table. Roxy is busy hanging flowers from the rafters with Hutch and Jocelyn helping hand her garland made of flowers.
“You guys are crazy to be doing this to yourselves,” I state as I stare at all of them.
They simultaneously stop and turn to look at me. “Cam wanted it low-key, and as her official bestie, I was not going to let her down,” Drew says with a pointed look.
I laugh. “OK. I’m just saying. Everyone looks a little stressed. But I’m here to help. What can I do?”
“That’s more like it,” Hutch says as he levels a stare at me. “What’s crawled up your ass?”
I swallow. Shit, I’m a little out of sorts after my talk with Bray. “Nothing. Just tired,” I mumble.
Jocelyn raises an eyebrow. I try not to make direct eye contact with her. Right now, I just want to spend time with friends and forget about the fact that I want my best friend, and I can’t ever have him.
Drew walks over and hugs me. “Whatever is wrong, I’m sorry. Would you like a glass of bubbly to help sort out your feelings?”
I laugh into his chest. Drew’s solution to everything is the correct drink of the alcoholic variety.
“Sure,” I murmur.
“Fab. Vito, one bubbly, per favore,” Drew says to his boyfriend.
“Of course,” Vito replies as he runs over to a bar set up in the corner and pops open a bottle of sparkling wine.
“What’s up?” Drew asks as he grabs the champagne flute in one hand and my elbow in the other and whisks me across the room to a table with little vases that need filling.
