“No, my familyisthe mob. Generations tied to it. And it’s pretty hard finding someone who isn’t tied to one of the rivals because there are so many. And when my family found out about Jo and me, they weren’t what you’d call happy. Or supportive.”
He gives me a history lesson of his father. How he became the head of an organized crime family, and I can honestly say I wasn’t certain they were real. Not beyond the 90s with all the RICO cases that I read about in school.
“How did you and Joanna get together?”
Having families who hate each other seems like it would be difficult to end up together. Unless their goals were to piss off both sides, I suppose.
“Honestly, I don’t even know how it started. We had mutual friends who played both sides, and we kind of bonded over the sins of our fathers. Then one day, we were just… in love. We hid it for the longest time, but we got caught.”
“That sounds romantic. And kind of scary,” I say.
He chuckles. “We were planning to run away together. I disappeared to get everything ready. The plan was to meet up at the park and take off. Get married and live our lives away from our families.”
There’s a pain in his voice that brings tears to my eyes. I don’t know what he’s about to say, but I know it’s going to break my heart.
“My father ordered her death. I went to meet her, and she didn’t show. By the time I found out what happened, I was too late. I tried to save her, but it did no good. I threw myself in front of her as my brother slashed at her, and he got me instead.”
“He cut your face?” I whisper. “Ryan?”
He nods and takes my hand in his. Bringing it to his cheek, he runs my fingertips over the scar and down underneath his shirt where it continues at a diagonal. I’ve never officially seen him naked, and I want to. I want to kiss away the scar on his chest that I can’t see.
The last thing Tucker deserved was losing the love of his life and having physical scars to show it. To live with the visual reminders of it.
That’s why he didn’t want to tell me how he got them. All I can imagine is a younger version of him, jumping in front of the woman he loves as his brother cuts at her and taking the blade himself. Then he probably freed her and held her as she laid dead in his arms.
He planned to run away and marry the woman he loved. They were going to leave their families behind, and he had to witness his own family killing her.
God, it must hurt him every single day. I know the pain I feel at my own loss, but this is different. It brings tears to my eyes, and I lay back down, resting my head on his chest.
“She was from a religious family. She wanted to get married in a cathedral. I never thought that when I stood beside her in front of the pews that she’d be in a casket instead of a wedding dress.”
The hurt this betrayal and loss have caused him is more than evident in his voice, and I just want to kiss away his pain. But we’ve never kissed. He’s kissed my neck and my temple, but that’s it. Never my lips.
“I’m so sorry, Tucker,” I whisper, kissing his chest over his T-shirt.
“I’m sorry I made you believe I could just forget about you when things settle down. That’s the farthest thing from the truth. You’ve burrowed your way into my soul.”
His fingertips run through my hair, and I sigh. I suppose I can settle for being in his soul. Souls continue on beyond the present plane, and maybe it means more than being in his heart. Even though I’d give anything to be there, too.
“Can I ask a favor?” I ask, my heart in my throat. “You can say no if you want to.”
“What’s that, Yellow Crayon?”
“I know you’re specific with your… preferences, and I’m okay with having you how you need, but can you not see that woman from the brothel? At least while I’m here?”
I’m terrified, my heart racing, that I’ve overstepped with my request. But I need him to know it bothers me. When he leavesme alone after the deed is done, I don’t like thinking I’m just like her. That I get the same treatment as an escort.
“I saw Queenie before I came to find you at Sarah’s house,” he says.
And my heart breaks. “Oh.”
“I told her I couldn’t see her anymore. And I haven’t been with her since our first night together,” Tucker says. “The only time I’ve gone to Velvet Desire is for business.”
Relief fills me, and I let out a long breath. “Thank you.”
“Is that why you faked it with me?”
He sounds hurt, and I’m glad we’re lying in darkness. I don’t think I could handle the hurt I know is in his beautiful blue eyes. It still amazes me how much emotion I can read in them when his face and body language give nothing away.
