“When you died, I left this world we came from behind, and I don’t ever plan to come back. I may have left, but you haunted me. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw yours. Every woman I saw became you. My heart was shattered, but it’s time for me to move on.”
The tears surprise me, and I can’t stop them. It’s time. I’m finally letting Joanna go. Releasing the hold she’s had on me for over a decade.
I’m taking back my heart and no longer feeling guilt over being happy.
I’m free.
“I don’t know if I’ll be back,” I whisper, wiping my eyes. “I just need you to know that I finally know the truth. And I still love you. But it’s not the same as before. I need to move on, and I’mmadly in love with the woman who helped me put the broken pieces back together and still loves me. Flaws and all.”
Standing, I let myself stare at her headstone longer than I should. This may be the last time I’m here, and it’s harder than I thought it would be.
I kiss my fingers and gently touch her picture. “Goodbye, baby,” I say, letting out a shaky breath.
Then I turn around and walk away. It’s time to move on.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Pacino
When I got home that night, Phoebe was passed out. I picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, and she didn’t even stir.
I held her all night long, realizing how close I came to losing her. Scared the hell out of me.
She didn’t wake up when I had to leave to head to Church, so I left her a note to let her know I was home. I don’t need her worrying about anything anymore. All the threats with my family are dead and gone.
“How’s Phoebe?” Capone asks as I walk into the room.
I’m floored. Everyone’s early. Every single motherfucker.
“She’s okay,” I say. “Still sleeping.”
“But she’s good?” Rooster asks.
Chuckling, I nod. “She’ll be back to baking for everyone soon enough.”
“She scared the shit out of me. I’ve never seen anyone that scared before.”
“Me, neither. I should’ve known they’d put her in the basement.”
“Your dad?”
I lean back with a big smile. “He’s gone.”
“What’d he want?” Jethro asks.
“To tell me what I thought of my life was a big fat lie and to save him.”
Penn leans forward. “What do you mean?”
I explain about Joanna and her father, shocked at how little it hurts. Letting her go has made me a thousand pounds lighter. I’m not carrying the burden of her death anymore.
It wasn’t my fault.
“Damn,” Kannon says. “So, uh, Phoebe told us why she hates basements. Her uncle’s really dead?”
“As far as I know.”
“Fuck. I could really use a reason to murder someone.”
