I suck in a deep lungful of fresh cedar-scented air as I round the last section of rock, my steps lighter than they have been in weeks. But I’m halted in my tracks when I glance up to discover I’m not alone.
Riley stands at my arrival, pale grey eyes locking with mine. I don’t know why I’m surprised to find him here; he always did love this place, too.Ourplace. But it hasn’t been ours in a long time.
A flash of anger strikes me at the intrusion. For years now, this place has been mine alone.
We stare at one another for a long moment as I allow the indignant feeling to subside. It’s as though my thoughts have conjured him, and while my head still feels jumbled, I realize maybe that’s not a bad thing. Somehow, I’ve managed to summon him here to finally give me the answers I’ve been afraid to hear.
“Steph,” he breathes, and it sounds like a prayer.
He looks as good as he always does, and it annoys the hell out ofme.
“Where have you been?” I ask quietly.
A look of confusion crosses his face. “At my mom’s,” he answers, but it sounds like a question.
“No. Where have you been, Riley?”
I watch the muscles work in his throat as understanding dawns. “Thought you didn’t want to have this conversation.”
“Well, apparently I need to. Because you won’t leave me alone. You’ve only been back a few months, yet somehow you’ve managed to invade all aspects of my life.” I squeeze my eyes shut and let out a deep sigh of frustration before meeting his gaze once more. His eyes are full of curiosity, and …hope, I think. “You’re everywhere,” I continue. “At the bar, when I’m with my friends, looking effortlessly hot and shooting me sly smiles. Doing that— that flirty-winky-thing. You’re showing up at my work with lattes and cute dog pictures—which youknowis my kryptonite—and playing the knight in shining armor when my car won’t start. You’re even at my kids’ school, for god’s sake!”
He opens his mouth to respond, but I raise a hand between us.
“Worst of all, you’re in my head. Despite my best efforts, you’re in my head.Again.” I let out another deep sigh, rubbing at my temples and already feeling deflated after that rant.
He stares at me for a long moment, eyes roving over my face … searching. For what, I don’t know. Finally, he asks, “You think I look effortlessly hot?”
“Jesus Christ. Not the point. Answer the damn question, Riley. Where?” I pause. “And why?” Unable to look into his eyes whilehe gives me the answers that will undoubtedly destroy me once more, I drop my gaze.
22
Riley
Andwhy?
Her voice breaks on that last word, and it’s immediately sobering. This isn’t the time for my flirty teasing.
This isit.
The moment I’ve been waiting for. The chance to finally tell her everything and let the chips fall where they may. I’ve rehearsed this conversation so many times, but now that it’s upon me, I’m struggling to find the words.
Taking a step in her direction, I’m unable to resist reaching for her. I want—need—to touch her, to hold her hand. I need the contact; need her to ground me while I attempt to gather my thoughts. But she presses that hand to my chest as I near, unwilling to allow me any further into her space. She stares at the spot where we’re connected, where my heart thrums wildly beneath her touch, then slowly drags her gaze up to mine. I’m not sure what I expected to see there—perhaps the yearning I’m feeling reflected back at me. Instead, those chocolate eyes, usually so filled with warmth, are cool. The gentleness with which she shoves me back belies the frustration that is clearly mounting within her as she retreats, pacing several steps away before turning back to me and crossing her arms. Her face is a mask of determination.
“Quit stalling,” she says, no longer pleading for answers. No, she’s demanding them. “You’re the one who wanted to have this conversation. Well, I’m ready to listen now, but that window is closing fast. I can’t keep doing this back and forth with you. Seriously, what do you want from me?”
“You know what I want. I want to beusagain.”
The laugh she lets out is harsh and disbelieving. I don’t like it. It’s not Steph. Did I do this to her? Make her so … jaded?
“So, what is it?Talk already.Did you— did you join a cult? Were you in some secret cabal? Witness protection? Is that it? Were you in bad with the mob?” I flinch, not just at her tone, but becauseshe’s getting warmer. Iwasa criminal. “I can’t wait to hear this. I mean, what else could it be?” she continues. “Were you—”
“I was in prison, okay?”
Her eyes snap to mine, but I spin away from her, unable to see the shock, the disappointment there.
“I was in prison,” I say again, dejectedly, then begin to pace in the small area. I fist my hands in my hair, my frustration now mirroring her own. This isn’t how I wanted this to go. “Fuuuuck!” I shout, my anger rising. Anger at myself, the situation. The mistakes I’ve made. “Fuck,” I repeat, more softly this time. Weary.
“Oh my God,” she says under her breath, and I stop and turn, forcing myself to look at her, to see the sadness in her eyes. “Riley …” she chokes out.
