“So … what? You’re just going to crash here indefinitely?
“No.”
“Then what?” Steph’s voice is rising in pitch, along with the color on her cheeks. Though it’s not easy to see in the dim lighting of the room, I can tell. I know her. And, God, I miss that familiar blush. The one that blooms when she’s upset or embarrassed, or … turned on. Pretty sure we’re dealing with the former inthis case, unfortunately, but the thought does little to dampen the reaction my body is having.
“Will they let you back in the dorms in September? Is this only until school starts again?”
I fight to ignore the thickening in my pants and force myself to shrug again. I’m unable to meet her eyes, a fucking mess of lust and shame twisting inside me. And guilt, there’s plenty of that, too, for lying to her. Because it’s not until school starts, it’s until—
God, I can’t even think it. But I swallow thickly and force myself to face the reality of my situation. It’s until my sentencing. And that thought actually does cause my dick to deflate.
I was arrested for dealing back in March, but they’re not lying when they say the wheels of justice move slowly. And I wasn’t just kicked out of the dorm, I was kicked out of school. Permanently.
So, here I am, living in limbo while I await my fate.
And yeah, I recognize the idiocy of living with the dude that ultimately got me arrested, but he promises me it won’t be that bad. I’ll probably only get eighteen months and be out in under a year. It’s not like I have anywhere to go in the meantime.
And yes, I also recognize it’s probably not the wisest thing to keep hanging around this crowd getting high while I await news on drug charges, but fuck, I need the distraction from the shit stew that is my life right now. And those little pills sure do fit the bill. When I’m high, it’s easy to convince myself I haven’tfallen as far as I have. I mean, it could be so much worse, right? I know I’ve made some mistakes, gotten in over my head, but … I’m not addicted. It’s not like I’m using the heavy street drugs that those assholes upstairs do. I’m not like them. I’m not shooting anything into my veins or even snorting it up my nose. Well, I’m not snorting it up my noseoften. Just once or twice when I really needed it. No, I’m not like them. It’s just … a little pill. That’s all.
Just a little white pill.
Or the blue one. That one works too.
Steph can’t know any of this, though. I couldn’t bear seeing the look on her face if she found out the truth. I’d rather break her heart than see the disappointment in her eyes. She used to look at me like I was her hero, and my ego has taken enough hits this year. It’s that thought that snaps me right back to reality, strengthening my resolve from earlier. I have to get her out of here. I made the decision months ago to let her go, and it was the right call. Maybe it wasn’t cool of me to disappear on her the way I did. I can blame some of that on the drugs, but not all. I was in denial for a while. And, I was afraid. It was immature, and she deserved better. But now she’s here, and I need to let her go once and for all.
I take a deep steadying breath, shaking out the tension in my limbs, then move towards her with the intention of ushering her to the door. I need to harden my heart right now. I need to walk her to her car and tell her we’re done once and for all. But when she meets my eyes, hers are fiery with determination. AndI feel that heat. Viscerally. She steps into me, stalling my forward momentum with a hand on my chest, right over the heart that’s beating wildly now. For her, always for her.
“Steph,” I growl in warning, but she leans further into me and her citrusy scent washes over me, drowning out the dank smell that permeates the room. My cock springs to life again, twitching uncomfortably against my zipper, and my knees weaken.
Christ, she smells incredible.Fuuuuck.
I can’t fight my body’s reaction to her—I never could. I’m going to break. I need— I need her, but I don’t deserve her.
I can’t do this.
A tortured groan escapes me … and then my mouth is on hers.
I’d thought the sight of her had sobered me, but the first taste of her after so many months apart shocks me right down to my toes, zipping through me like an electric current. Any lingering fuzziness is gone as Steph moans into my mouth. I answer with one of my own, one of deep and utter surrender. My hands find her hips, and I grip them tight, pulling her soft body flush against mine.
It’s muscle memory.
It’smadness.
But the movement is so achingly familiar I no longer care that we—I—shouldn’t be doing this. The hard points of her nipples rub against my chest, and her mouth is so goddamn warm and pliant for me. Grunting, I slide my arms up and into her hair, her soft fucking cornsilk hair, as our lips continue to move in tandem.I angle her head to take the kiss deeper, teasing my tongue along her lower lip until she opens for me. Before I even realize what I’m doing, I’m walking her backwards, pressing her up against the door I’d been moments away from escorting her out through. She shivers, whether from the cold metal at her back or the feelings I’m eliciting, I’m unsure, but the thought is fleeting as she lets out another moan.
I keep her there, pinned to the door, first rolling and then grinding my hips against her center, relishing the heat of her that bleeds through our clothing.
I eventually break the kiss to work my way down the column of her throat and across her chest, licking and sucking, and leaving a wet trail against her skin. When she arches her back, shoving her perfect tits at me, I lean in and suck a hardened nipple through the thin fabric of her sundress.
Desire claws at my insides, and my cock feels like a fucking lead pipe. She whimpers, and I pull away, dropping my forehead to rest in the valley between her breasts.
“I need to get inside,” I say with a groan.
“Yes,” she breathes. “Yes.”
What follows is a desperate struggle to release myself from my jeans. My breaths come out in harsh pants as I drag her dress up to her waist, then grip one of her legs and lift, hiking it up over my hip and opening her to me. Pushing her underwear aside, I slide a rough finger between her legs, checking to make sure she’s wet, before fisting my cock and shoving urgently into her. Steph hissesat the sudden intrusion. Her face twists in pleasure and maybe a little pain. She throws her head back, the thud of it hitting the door echoing in the room as her body yields to me, and I sink deep on a strangled groan.
“I’m sorry, baby,” I grit out as my hips begin to move. “I just, I couldn’t—” but my words are cut off by her mouth. She sucks on my bottom lip then clamps her teeth down, pulling on it, not so gently, as her hands leave my shoulders to tug on my already messy hair.
